Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan was the guest of the online talk organized by the Neuroscience Master's and PhD program of Ondokuz Mayıs Üniversitesi. In the online program, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan made evaluations on the topic of ‘Future Leader Brains’ and emphasized that success cannot be achieved without struggling against life's difficulties and obstacles. Tarhan stated: “The paths to success in life are not always flowery paths. The paths to success are stony, muddy roads. If you are lazy, if you are idle, you change your path when there are obstacles. What happens when you change your path at every obstacle? You miss the train. There is a hidden law of psychology in life. Life rewards those who do not give up in the face of difficulties, those who endure. Only then do we progress in life. Otherwise, we would only be someone repeating the routine.”
“Leadership in parenthood is not about making the child happy, but about preparing the child for life”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, speaking about the impact of leadership in parenthood on children, said: “The most important characteristic of leadership is problem-solving, stress management, and self-management. Therefore, someone who cannot be their own leader in leadership cannot be a team leader. Let's state that. That's why we will start leadership with ourselves first. For example, if a mother is a leader at home, she can only have a say over her children and enforce rules there. But if she loses leadership to the child, which is very common today, leadership resides with the little ruler of the house. Especially male children in the Black Sea Region. Everything they want is done, everything is allowed. Then, when the child reaches adolescence, they start running away, using substances, and rebelling. You actually spoiled them. This is not leadership! Leadership in parenthood is not about making the child happy, but about preparing the child for life… This is leadership.”
“If we know 21st-century skills, we will raise the leader generations of the future”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan emphasized that leadership should not be approached in a single area, but holistically with emotional intelligence; “Albert Einstein is a great scientist. Everyone knows him, takes him as an example, but he is not a good leader. He is a Nobel Physics Prize laureate, has high intelligence, plays the violin excellently, plays chess, but his emotional intelligence is very low. So, emotional intelligence is important for him in leadership. Being able to manage emotions. In the 10th year of his marriage, he tells his wife this: ‘If you want me to stay married to you, don't complain about me, bring my food to my room regularly three times a day, don't expect me to be friendly.’ Which woman would accept this situation? His wife did not accept it. After that, Einstein never married again or didn't have a truly warm marriage. His children were also miserable. One of his children became schizophrenic, for example. Now, this person, with high mathematical intelligence, is a leader for the world of science but not a family leader. He could not be a good leader. Therefore, leadership is not just in one area; it is a holistic leadership. It needs to be a complementary, comprehensive leadership. For this reason, if we know 21st-century skills, we will raise the leader generations of the future.”
“Every step a person takes while approaching a goal is success”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that true success should not be determined by a person's daily evaluations in life, but by their struggle towards their goal; “If you want to be a good leader, you will have an ego ideal, you will have a goal. Everything that brings you closer to that goal is a success. But you cannot attribute success in the middle of your goal. When is it understood that you are successful? It is understood at the end of your life. A seemingly successful person is currently neither successful nor unsuccessful. Because it is not clear whether they have reached their goal. Their success is total success. That's why, to call a person successful, it's not enough for a product in a factory to turn out well only on that day; it must be total quality. The factory must be able to produce at that quality 3, 5, or 10 years later. Only then can we say that this factory is doing quality work. It's the same with success. Being successful today is not enough. What will happen tomorrow? What will happen in 1, 5, 10 years? Therefore, that person will set a goal for their success to become measurable. Every step a person takes while approaching a goal is success. Every step that moves them away from it is failure, that's all. The concept of success is actually very simple. It's like a ship. If its destination port is not clear, the wind will not help it. If it doesn't know its purpose, its destination, every event will drag it along. But if it knows its destination, it will position itself against the wind and move forward. Taking the right position is related to the goal. If a person makes their own ego their goal, they live accordingly; if they make their homeland their goal, they live accordingly; if they make divine consent their goal, they live accordingly. A person lives according to whatever they make their goal. That is a person's value, their measure of worth. A person's goal is their measure of quality. The measure of success is determined by their goal. If their goal is merely to eat, drink, and reproduce, then this person is no different from other living beings; this person thinks on an animalistic level. However, a person needs to produce things for others, for society and humanity. They need to succeed in transcending themselves. That is the real success.”
“Life rewards those who do not give up in the face of difficulties, those who endure”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan emphasized that success cannot be achieved without struggling against life's difficulties and obstacles; “Laziness is a social disease. A lazy person lives life in reverse. We are in an era that praises laziness too much, but no one wants to wake up from their sweet sleep in the morning and go to work, or sit down and study mathematics; these are difficult, burdensome things for human nature. But the paths to success in life are not always flowery paths. The paths to success are stony, muddy roads. If you are lazy, if you are idle, you change your path when there are obstacles. What happens when you change your path at every obstacle? You miss the train. There is a hidden law of psychology in life. Life rewards those who do not give up in the face of difficulties, those who endure. Only then do we progress in life. Otherwise, we would only be someone repeating the routine.”
“To be able to make correct decisions, we need to be open to learning and self-improvement”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan pointed out that a person's emotional intelligence is not solely limited to their environment, parents, but they can guide their own emotional development according to their choices; “Emotional intelligence also needs to be well-educated. Currently, emotional intelligence has become a scientific category. When emotions are trained, their application, unfortunately, does not happen merely with words. To turn that thought into a belief, emotion needs to be added to the thought. That is not enough; only if thought plus emotion combine does it become a belief. If we continue it, it becomes a habit, and if we maintain this situation for about six months, it becomes a personality. Only then can a person sustain it. This is also related to character and moral building. That is, a person will only choose and prefer this themselves. For example, a tyrant can emerge from a scholar even if they grew up in a good family environment. And a scholar can emerge from a tyrant, meaning not everything is formed by the environment, parents. Therefore, in such situations, we need to be open to learning and self-improvement to make correct decisions. I always say in our institution, at the university, at the hospital, and at NPİSTANBUL, that criticism is a gift. Criticism is feedback. If it works, we correct our mistake; if it doesn't, we continue on our way. A person who is afraid of criticism cannot progress. In such situations, you see that some people are managed by their fears. However, a certain amount of fear is sufficient to protect against dangers. Making decisions with fear in life causes people to make mistakes. Therefore, we need to manage our fears and adjust their dosage well here.”
Reporter: Meryem Türk