The 6th Psychology Days, held this year with the theme of ‘Human and Humanity in the Digital World’, brought together expert names in the field. The two-day program explored digitalization and humanity from many perspectives. Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, who gave the opening conference of the program under the title ‘Digital Narcissism’, sought an answer throughout his speech to the question of whether technology makes our lives easier while at the same time enslaving us. Are we becoming slaves to our egos? Tarhan, who also posed this question to the participants, stated that digitalization has a significant impact on narcissism. Tarhan said that the increase in global narcissism isolates people, and that humanity has never been so intertwined with technology and so isolated until this period. Tarhan pointed out that a narcissistic state of mind can emerge in all of us from time to time, adding that the important thing is to try to manage narcissistic feelings. “Narcissism develops blindness in a person; they do not see their own mistakes,” Tarhan stated, adding that narcissists are very selective in their relationships, are in love with themselves, and highlight themselves by devaluing others.
The theme of the 6th Psychology Days, organized by Üsküdar Üniversitesi, was determined this year as ‘Human and Humanity in the Digital World’. While Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan gave the opening conference of the 2-day program under the title “Digital Narcissism”, Psychotherapist Prof. Dr. İbrahim Bilgen also spoke under the title “Feel-Goodism”.
The 6th Psychology Days began with opening speeches by Ali Gökhan İşidir, President of the Üsküdar Üniversitesi Psychology Club, and Dr. Öğr. Üyesi Fatma Turan, a faculty member of the Üsküdar Üniversitesi Psychology Department and Coordinator of Positive Psychology. Assoc. Prof. Dr. Asil Özdoğru, Deputy Dean of the Üsküdar Üniversitesi Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences, which organized the conference, added that this traditional event has become a valuable occasion for both Üsküdar Üniversitesi and the world of psychology.
Is technology making us slaves to our egos?
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, who gave the opening conference of the program held at the Üsküdar Üniversitesi Çarşı Campus Emir Nebi Conference Hall, noted that in 2019, three major dangers awaiting the world were on the agenda in Davos: climate change, global inequality, and loneliness. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “The reason for loneliness is narcissism. The increase in global narcissism isolates people. Digitalization also has a very significant effect here. Until this period, humanity has never been so intertwined with technology. While technology makes our lives easier, is it also enslaving us? Is it making us slaves to our egos? This needs to be analyzed.”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan: “Modernism led humanity to satisfaction with concrete values instead of abstract ones.”
In his speech titled ‘Digital Narcissism’, Tarhan underlined that modernism has changed humanity's philosophy of life, stating, “Humanity choosing hedonism, that is, pleasure-seeking, instead of ideals that transcend oneself as a life purpose, has become the global doctrine of modernism. Humanity's mere satisfaction of its body indicates a low level of development. People with a high level of development prioritize mental satisfactions. They seek truth through high values such as art, music, philosophy, and religion. Modernism led humanity to satisfaction with concrete values instead of abstract ones. We will experience and have begun to experience its consequences.”
Tarhan stated that in individuals who choose hedonism, narcissism emerges as the second stage, followed by loneliness in the third stage, leading to avoidance of social responsibilities and alienation. He noted that in the fourth stage, conditions such as unhappiness, depression, and self-harm spread like an epidemic.
Prof. Dr. Tarhan: “While trying to provide self-confidence education to people, narcissism rose”
Speaking about studies on narcissism, Tarhan said, “According to research, narcissistic traits appear more intensely in young ages. As people get to know life and become wiser, their narcissistic traits decrease. And again, research shows that while attempting to provide self-confidence education, the perception of freedom as boundlessness and irresponsibility globally brings egocentrism and narcissistic personality traits to the forefront in humanity. ‘Open classroom policies’ that do not teach boundaries and responsibility, allow freedom, state that a child's talents emerge more as they are more free, and restrict supervision, led to the widespread adoption of selfishness under the guise of individualism. This caused a narcissism epidemic. Even if there are still schools implementing open classroom policies, this system did not work. Because as long as they are not expected to, young people do not control themselves. While children were intended to be free, they started to become irresponsible. These policies began to harm social life.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan: “As per capita national income increases, happiness decreases”
Referring to a happiness study conducted between 1950 and 2000, Tarhan said, “It is observed that as per capita national income increases, happiness decreases. This situation indicates that while material prosperity has increased globally, psychological, social, and spiritual well-being have not increased in parallel. This study corroborates the American saying, ‘money can't buy happiness.’ Another study showing the rate of clinical depression in women and men over 3 years also indicates that the depression rate is steadily increasing.”
Tarhan: “The person who says ‘I am not a narcissist’ is a narcissist”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that narcissistic personality disorder and a narcissistic state of mind are different concepts, said, “A narcissistic state of mind is present in all of us from time to time. The important thing is to manage these feelings. The one who says ‘I am not a narcissist’ is a narcissist. Narcissism develops blindness in a person; they do not see their own mistakes.”
Tarhan, giving Hitler as an example due to his initiation of one of history's greatest wars and its socio-political and military consequences, said, “He had love and freedom in his family, he was a music enthusiast, yet he emerged as the greatest tyrant in human history. He considered the German race superior and combined this with Darwin’s theory, ‘the strong devour the weak, so one must be strong to dominate the world.’ What Hitler did was ethnic narcissism. His ego was so inflated from being raised with too much love that he began to belittle everything. At the same time, he had a very hardworking, principled, honest personality, but he lacked ethical values. Because he had no sense of accountability, narcissism took hold of him and produced a dictator. For this reason, opposition has gained value. Even at home, if children cannot object to what their mother or father says, that person is a dictator.”
Narcissists are very afraid of being ordinary…
Underlining that narcissists are very afraid of being ordinary, Tarhan said, “They feed on praise against depression, they want to feel special. They work constantly because they are very afraid of failure. For example, Napoleon and Alexander are such characters. When they fail, they commit suicide, just like Hitler did. What narcissistic individuals do is admired, but their personalities are never liked. Narcissists cannot see that the problem stems from themselves. The things they complain about originate from themselves, and they are not aware of this. Narcissists feed by crushing the weak. This can also be seen between spouses. One constantly demeans and diminishes the other, then binds them by saying, ‘you live because of me.’ Narcissists desire a master-slave relationship. They exaggerate their own abilities, always expect respect, and have money and power in their fantasy worlds. They are excessively sensitive to criticism, self-serving, and believe only special people can understand them. They cannot empathize, and have strong feelings of resentment, anger, and jealousy. Their sense of entitlement is always directed towards themselves; when they achieve their grand ideals, their true personalities emerge more. They do not show their fears; they are talented and assertive,” listing the characteristics of narcissistic individuals.
Narcissists act as if their dreams have come true…
Stating that narcissistic individuals are afraid but pretend not to be, Tarhan listed the fears of narcissists as follows: “The mental walls between fear and confidence are very thin and variable. They are talented and assertive in showing themselves. Many narcissists emerge as leaders. Democracy, on the other hand, allows narcissists to balance these characteristics.”
Tarhan also explained the most striking characteristics of narcissistic individuals: “They have dreams of being great, famous, and rich, and they act as if these dreams have come true. They see themselves as important people. They achieve more than their peers. They can easily denigrate others. They enjoy dwelling on the flaws of others. If their wishes are not met, they get angry and disregard the reasons. They do not recognize their own mistakes. When forced to admit their mistakes, they easily fall into depression and experience exaggerated emotions. They try to claim that people who are better known and recognized than themselves are not that great. They find ways to use others to achieve their goals. They categorize everything and prioritize what is most important to them. They are very selective in their relationships; the being they are in love with is themselves. They want to provide help that will inflate their egos, be talked about, and even have statues erected for them, and they want their children to be even more perfect than themselves. They do not keep powerful people around them; second-in-command individuals who do everything are their best assistants. Weak individuals constantly give of themselves, praise the narcissist, and cling to them, promoting themselves by devaluing others.”
Tarhan added that narcissists quickly fall into depression and commit suicide when they experience injury or loss, and that new generation leaders try to discipline their narcissistic feelings.
Prof. Dr. Tarhan: “You don't joke with a narcissistic person!”
In his speech, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan also addressed how to deal with narcissistic individuals, stating, “If you have a close relationship with a narcissist, you can make them feel the fear of losing what they value by saying, ‘if this continues, you will lose what you value.’ Then they start to back down. You should not joke when talking to a narcissist. You should speak clearly and decisively, making them feel that you are serious and determined.”
Tarhan concluded his speech by offering some advice to those who encounter narcissistic individuals:
“Think critically, know your own purpose. Don't make immediate decisions. Narcissists have to live in a world where there is nothing greater than their own egos. If you praise a narcissist too much, their ego will swell. Praise them with reasons, and explain their mistakes with reasons. If you don't protect your boundaries, the narcissist will dominate you. They are masters at gaining ground. Act according to behavior, not words. They cannot understand empathy, but you can make them act empathetically by confronting them with their own interests. If you act aggressively towards an angry narcissist, they suddenly show an incredible potential to become a victim. Set your own boundaries. When things go wrong, they become unhappy and immediately try to escape. A narcissist should receive the praise they expect only when they achieve something difficult. Criticism can easily turn into a weapon that can be misused by a narcissistic person.”
Prof. Dr. İbrahim Bilgen: “What is looked at for happiness or unhappiness is the phone in our hands”
Prof. Dr. İbrahim Bilgen, who participated online in the program with his speech titled ‘The Disease of Our Age: Feel-Goodism’, said that people are pursuing happiness and feeling good. Bilgen noted that today, at the slightest hint of happiness or unhappiness, people turn to the phones in their hands, stating, “The concept of happiness is also an important content of the advertising industry; look at the titles of books on bookstore shelves, most are about happiness. The reality of being happy is being able to connect with our values.”
Bilgen noted that the emotion that develops us is pain, saying, “Our mind protects us from pain with our past experiences. When it senses things that might cause distress, it tries to protect us. It exists to keep people going. Unhappiness is an indispensable process for humans. We become happy with our choices by taking ideas from our minds and making decisions with the values in our hearts. We should live for our life values. Values keep us alive. Every parent should raise their child with values.”
Prof. Dr. Bilgen: “Let's not be tools of our tools”
Prof. Dr. İbrahim Bilgen, stating that the difficulty of being human stems from being a verbal being, concluded his words by saying that we are overwhelmed by our efforts to feel good:
“We are living with the fear of missing out on life. Let's not be tools of our tools. There is no such thing as past and future. This is a human fabrication. We can reminisce about the past now, we can create the fantasy and thought of the future now. The present moment does not require perspective. For this reason, mindfulness has started to gain importance today. The reason is that mindfulness takes us out of autopilot and connects us to the awareness pilot. Values are what we live every moment.”
Prof. Dr. Hıdır İlyas Göz: “The digital world has advantages and disadvantages for scientists”
Prof. Dr. Hıdır İlyas Göz, a faculty member at Üsküdar Üniversitesi, delivered his speech titled ‘What is the Function of Digital Technology in Scientific Research?’ within the scope of the 6th Psychology Days, noting that the digital world has advantages and disadvantages for scientists. Göz said, “Science works with thought, concepts, and hypotheses for an event we want to understand. No matter which technology we use, you cannot do this without thought. Digital can only have a supportive role in scientific studies.”
The 2nd Day program of the 6th Psychology Days also consisted of rich topic headings…
On the second day of the 6th Psychology Days, held online, the following presentations were made: Prof. Dr. Sırrı Akbaba on ‘Cyberbullying’, Prof. Dr. Gül Eryılmaz on ‘Brain and Emotions’, Dr. Öğr. Üyesi Meltem Narter on ‘Patriarchy in Digital Transformation’, Dr. Öğr. Üyesi Elif Kurtuluş on ‘Effects of Social Media on Eating Behaviors and Body Image’, Dr. Meral Aydın on ‘Human from Emotion to Fiction’, Lecturer Güliz Zeynep Tarman on ‘Hoarding Behavior from a Clinical Perspective and Our Relationship with Objects’, Clinical Psychologist Dr. Cumhur Avcil on ‘Technology Use in Clinical Psychology’, Dr. Ayşe Berna Sarı Arasıl on ‘Computerized Trainings for Cognitive Biases in Anxiety and Depression’, and Dr. Öğr. Üyesi Fatma Turan on ‘Our Emotions in the Digital World’.
