Distress is actually the body’s demand for change and growth…
Stating that emotional hygiene is a concept developed to prevent people from becoming mentally ill, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “We cannot show the same care for our emotional health, our psychological health, that we show for our physical health.”
Drawing attention to times when we feel an inexplicable distress within us, are emotionally strained, or exposed to emotional injury, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “The pain we feel when our psychological integrity is disrupted is called distress. This is a sign for a person to get to know themselves, to repair and heal their psychological integrity. It is the body’s demand for change and growth. Therefore, one should not be afraid of distress.”
Üsküdar University Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan evaluated the topic of emotional hygiene.
What is emotional hygiene?
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that emotional hygiene is a concept developed to prevent people from becoming mentally ill, and said, “Emotional hygiene is created by taking physical hygiene as a reference. What is physical hygiene? It involves certain personal practices regarding what we will do when there is a minor injury or when we encounter any microbe, to prevent it from turning into an illness. To prevent illness or to provide special medical intervention... But we cannot show the same care for our emotional health, our psychological health, that we show for our physical health. Because the former is concrete and easy. This is an abstract and somewhat troublesome task. It requires deep thought.”
We are emotionally polluted, emotionally injured!
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that emotional pollution and emotional injury are very common in today's living conditions, and said, “When our emotional health deteriorates, we feel a pain similar to when physical integrity is disrupted. The pain we feel when our psychological integrity is disrupted is called distress. This is called psychological pain. When there is an inexplicable distress within us, when we are emotionally strained, or when we are exposed to emotional injury or pollution, we need to reflect. This is a sign for a person to get to know themselves, to repair and heal their psychological integrity. It is the body's demand for change and growth. Therefore, one should not be afraid of distress.”
Micro traumas offer opportunities for development
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan explained that micro traumas or negative influences can also offer opportunities for development, saying, “For example, being ignored is a trauma for a child or for someone at work. Like someone you know not greeting you while walking on the street... These are small things, but they can have a traumatic effect. Life does not go in a straight line; it has ups and downs. There are fluctuations, shock experiences, unexpected life events, and many reasons that develop outside of us.”
Fixing 20 percent fixes 80 percent
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that when 20 percent of problems are solved, usually 80 percent of the problem will have been resolved, adding, “Because most problems are similar in nature. Therefore, the main important thing is to correctly identify the problems. 80 percent of the situations that stress, worry, and shake a person's psychological integrity in life also improve when that 20 percent is solved.”
Beware of mental rumination…
Addressing the effects of the absence of emotional hygiene on communication, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “By its nature, a human being is not suitable for living alone. They are a social and relational being. They establish relationships with themselves, their family, their social environment, humanity, their homeland, and their creativity. A human is a relational part of a whole. Loneliness also has a traumatic effect. Chosen loneliness is a loneliness where one is at peace with oneself, but in most cases, there is exclusion, there is rejection. And there is rumination, which is called mental chewing, meaning repetitive thoughts.”
Excessive self-confidence hinders empathy…
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that self-esteem disorder is generally observed in those exposed to emotional damage, emotional pollution, or narcissistic injury, adding, “Here, it is a more accurate definition to say self-esteem disorder instead of low self-esteem. Excessive self-esteem indicates a false sense of confidence in oneself. This also makes a person vulnerable to trauma. When there is excessive self-confidence, empathy cannot be practiced. A self-confident person, however, sees both their weak and strong points.”
Self-esteem is a person’s psychological immune system
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan also said that individuals who see themselves as special, important, and superior are condemned to loneliness, adding, “People with low self-esteem usually make constant sacrifices to gain social acceptance. This, over time, makes them depressed. Such individuals exhibit a profile of being clingy, suffering, and crying. In another group, a personality emerges that blames others for everything, every fault, does not trust people, always works for themselves, and is always concerned with themselves. The work done by such people is liked, but their personalities are not loved. When they lose power, they are left utterly alone. For this reason, self-esteem is a person's psychological immune system.”
A person who cannot see their flaws cannot draw their roadmap in life's journey
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan also noted the importance of being at peace with oneself for the health of the psychological immune system, saying, “When you tell a person to love themselves, they cannot see their flaws. A person who cannot see their flaws also cannot draw their roadmap in life's journey. First, they must know where they are, their strengths and weaknesses. After that, they will determine where they are going. They will determine their purpose in life. Then they will create their roadmap. One of the things that makes a person emotionally vulnerable to trauma is a purposeless life, a meaningless life.”
Technology itself is inherently neutral…
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that digital technology or social media has both a threat dimension and an opportunity dimension, expressing the following:
“Technology itself is inherently neutral. Like driving a car, using a phone, or taking a plane. If you use it for a good purpose, it serves your goal. If you use it for a bad purpose, you will be in constant trouble. A person with an ego ideal is not bothered by technology at all. They use technology as a tool for their ego ideal. Like going to a place with the fastest, most efficient vehicle, achieving success.”
Youth is growing up without ideals
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that youth is growing up without ideals and that modernism offers young people no other purpose than eating, drinking, reproducing, and sex, and continued as follows:
“Such a person with this kind of purpose becomes fragile and vulnerable to trauma. What we call narcissistic injury, they go into a crisis when they don't get what they want, they have anger outbursts. A person doesn't always get what they want in life. When a child is small, they want a small car. If that person doesn't know where to stop, they want a big car after entering adolescence. If the family can't buy it, they become enemies with the family. Why? We cannot teach children their wants and needs. We need to teach children resource management. We have our physical resource, our body, our health. If we use it carefully, we live healthily. But if we don't use it well, we get sick early. If a person does not regulate their life and misuses their resources, they pay the price immediately. Emotional hygiene, emotional protection are important. A person needs to show as much importance to their psychological health as they do to their physical health. Emotionally resilient people take on events, manage their stress, solve problems, and progress towards their goal by learning something. But a person without a goal starts to see everything in life as a threat. People with a weak emotional immune system also get injured when they cannot manage trauma.”
Up to 16 years old, children should have a maximum of 20 hours of social media allowance per week, excluding homework
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that children up to the age of 16 should not be allowed more than 20 hours of social media per week, excluding school, lessons, and homework, and advised that finding meaning in life makes a person happy, and that people should have an ideal and a goal worth getting tired for, suffering for, and working for.
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan also pointed out the importance of the skill of delayed gratification, saying, “If the skill of delayed gratification develops, impulse control is learned. These people become stronger when they encounter obstacles or rejection. They manage obsessions when they arise. They can keep their self-perception and self-esteem balanced when it falls or rises. They can overcome loneliness. When there is emotional trauma, these people do not carry it on their backs.”
A person who lives only for their own benefit is bad…
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that a person who lives only for their own benefit is bad, saying, “Living only for one’s own benefit is akin to an animal. Eating, drinking, reproducing, sheltering… But this is not humanity. Humanity is not a life identical to an animal's. Being useful to society, being useful to people, being useful to your family... For a person with an ideal, overcoming difficulties becomes much easier. They become emotionally stronger.”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan also stated that Anatolian wisdom is a branch of science called positive psychology, concluding his words by saying, “Psychological resilience, emotional hygiene, we teach these to students…”