Is Arrogance a Symptom of Illness?

Stating that arrogance is actually a symptom of illness, psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, said that arrogant people experience a fear of being ordinary. Pointing out that these individuals suffer from narcissistic injury, Tarhan states that they might even consider ending their lives when they fail.

Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan made evaluations about the psychology of arrogance and pride.

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that pride, known as arrogance in society, is not actually a disease but a symptom of illness and a personality disorder. He said, “Arrogance is when a person intensely experiences a feeling of grandeur. There is a personality structure we call narcissistic personality. The biggest theme of these people's lives is their high sense of grandeur. They see themselves as special, superior, and chosen. They also look down on other people. These individuals' sense of entitlement is directed towards themselves. These people never like waiting in line. People who say 'Do you know who I am?' in traffic are truly narcissistic individuals. They see themselves as incredibly superior and privileged and expect this privilege to be granted to them everywhere.”

There is no arrogance in a person who realistically analyzes themselves…

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that when psychological analyses of these individuals are performed, it is seen that they have self-admiration, not self-confidence. He said, “Self-confidence is a person being at peace with themselves. Self-confidence is recommended for a person's health, but self-admiration is a person seeing things in themselves that do not exist. If a person sees what they have, they will not experience a feeling of grandeur. There is no arrogance in a person who realistically analyzes themselves. Every person is unique; no one should be looked down upon. Narcissistic individuals see themselves as superior and others as inferior. They have turned this situation into a personality trait.”

Modernism imposes arrogance

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that “self-admiration is a person liking themselves,” said the following:

“It is the disease of self-admiration in a narcissistic person. The biggest main theme in their personality is the feeling of grandeur. People with a feeling of grandeur are like people who have eaten garlic. They appear humble, but behind their humility is the perception of themselves as great. In fact, an arrogant person entered an environment where humility was valued and behaved excessively humbly. When asked, 'Why are you acting like this? You weren't like this before,' he replied, 'I must be the greatest in humility too.' There is a human desire to be at the forefront, to be the best. This is a primitive and wild human emotion. Humans need to educate this emotion. This emotion exists more or less in everyone. Modernism, in the capitalist system, imposes being proud and arrogant under the guise of self-confidence. It presents self-praise as a skill.”

Arrogant people have sanctified themselves

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that the feeling of arrogance is seeing oneself as great and others as small, said, “One aspect of arrogance is this: you don't look down on others, but you see yourself as great. Such people appear humble. However, in close relationships, it becomes clear that the person has sanctified themselves. This type of grandeur is self-worship. It is attributing many blessings one possesses to oneself. This situation is contrary to both the laws of creation and the philosophy of existence.”

Arrogant people are left alone

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that the element a person should pay attention to is knowing their limits, said, “People with a grandeur disorder do not know their boundaries and where to stop. They are the ones who say, 'I am the best leader.' They are people who speak boastfully. Even if people don't understand, these behaviors are contrary to morality. People dislike and become distant from such individuals. These types are unloved without realizing it. Arrogance is like the smell of garlic; you cannot hide it; it can be understood even from your tone of voice. Arrogance is a repulsive and cold emotion, and that is why arrogant people are left alone. When they are successful, their surroundings are full and crowded. When they retire or lose their successes and power, these individuals are left completely alone. This time, they accuse people of being opportunistic. However, people are not with them for their sake, but for the benefit they derive from them. We can also call this a grandeur disorder. Our ancestors always said “Do not be proud, my sultan, there is Allah greater than you.” This is the most important hindering factor for a person's psychological maturation.”

Narcissistic people cannot make love investments correctly

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that a person who does not discipline their inner feeling of grandeur cannot reach psychological maturity, said, “The feeling of grandeur is encoded in humans like eating, drinking, and reproducing. The being with the most narcissism is a child. Children think the world revolves around them. As they grow up, they invest their love in other generations—their parents, life, life philosophy, existence, the creator, and so on. In such cases, they manage the source of love correctly. A narcissistic person invests all their energy in themselves. Freud also called schizophrenia 'Secondary narcissism.' A schizophrenic person creates rain in their own world. This is the illness.”

Arrogant people fear ordinariness

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that someone who sees themselves as special, important, and superior despite being of sound mind is someone who possesses the characteristic of arrogance, and he said the following:

“Behind arrogant people, there is actually a tremendous fear. There is a fear of being ordinary. That's why they say, 'I'd rather not live at all than be ordinary.' They experience what we call narcissistic injury. When they fail, those who experience narcissistic injury commit suicide, saying, 'I'm a failure, why should I live?' Therefore, they cannot tolerate failure. One of the reasons for the increase in suicide worldwide is the global spread of narcissism as an affliction. A person who sees themselves as a God on Earth cannot control everything.

They want to control everyone

The biggest characteristic of a narcissistic person is that they say, ‘I must control everything, it must always be my way.’ There is an excessive feeling of control. They even want to control their child's or spouse's dreams; narcissism lies behind this behavior. Even if they play a humble role, their inner world is not like that. They constantly work due to the fear of being ordinary. The capitalist system uses these people very well. They continue to work to the death, saying, ‘It's better to die than to fail.’ Their life philosophy is “Either death or success.” They work hard, produce a lot, and always want to be special, superior, and pointed to. For this, they engage in non-peaceful competition. They trip others, interfere with others' livelihoods, just to maintain their own power and authority. It is dangerous. Wars have erupted in the world because of this, and family quarrels arise for this reason. If we want inner peace in our own world, in our homes, in society, we must first discipline narcissism.”

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that such people can manage their emotions, said, “In marriage, all of us have narcissistic tendencies within us. When we realize this, let's not be afraid; this can be life energy for us. That is, it makes us very hardworking, but we need to turn our purpose from satisfying our ego to social benefit. We need to consider social benefit, not individual benefit. If a narcissistic person transforms their tendency to succeed into being useful to society, this person changes the direction of narcissism. Because we cannot kill this emotion. This is also the emotion of being fed by people's applause, the emotion of fame, the emotion of becoming rich. Not everyone can be rich, famous, or successful, but everyone can be a good person. What our ego ideal is, is important in such situations.”

How can one deal with these people?

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that there are also people who have to live with such individuals, said, “If we want to control a person's narcissism, we must start with ourselves. In relationships, we will neither oppress nor be oppressed. This is the first principle. A narcissistic person pushes their own boundaries. Therefore, narcissistic individuals are similar to cancer cells. What is the characteristic of a cancer cell? It grows by destroying the surrounding tissues. It is insatiable, irresponsible, and limitless. It starts in the liver, grows, and dies along with the liver. It grows to death. Narcissism is also like this; it is greedy. All of us, even at a young age, have three to five cancer cells on the right and left sides of our body. When the immune system weakens, those cells multiply. Narcissism is also cancer of the soul. It covers our spiritual structure like cancer. It is also a social cancer.”

A narcissistic person sees their spouse as an extension of themselves

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that narcissistic individuals also negatively affect family relationships, said, “Especially within the family, it is more common in men. He has the money, he has the power, and he wants to control his spouse. He sees them as a slave. A narcissistic person sees their spouse as an extension of themselves. If he says 'get up,' they get up; if he says 'stop,' they stop. He doesn't see them as a separate individual. The person needs to explain to them that they are a separate individual. One should definitely not be humble towards a narcissistic person. If you act humbly in front of a narcissistic person, they will start giving you advice. It is necessary to criticize their mistakes, not their personality, by saying, 'You are successful, you did good things, but on this matter, I don't think like you for these reasons.' If you criticize their personality, they will attack you. For example, if a spouse expresses their feelings by saying, 'You are actually a good person, you take care of us, you work for us, but this behavior of yours is not good,' after a while, both sides start controlling each other's narcissism. Thus, the person who wants to control understands that there are boundaries. The person will not allow the narcissistic person into their own boundaries. Therefore, to develop a consciousness of living together, it is necessary to say no to narcissistic people with reasons. In such situations, we try to teach people who have difficulties the skill of saying no.”

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that narcissistic individuals are afraid of losing the things they value, said, “When these people are told, 'If you continue this way, you will lose these things,' they engage in self-criticism. Therefore, we need to find the things these people value. When they realize they will lose what they value, they begin to change themselves. Even if their narcissism continues, they can correct their behaviors. That's why we work on boundary-setting skills for narcissism. To overcome our own narcissism, it is recommended to do silent good deeds. Good deeds done for show feed narcissism. This is a method of educating narcissism. We give these people silent good deeds as homework.”

Mistakes can be communicated in writing

Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that narcissistic individuals are hurt when criticized in public, said, “But when this person is called aside alone and told their mistake, that person can confront their mistake without their honor being broken. If, despite this, the person continues the same mistake, they are first warned verbally, and then, if necessary, warned in writing. Sometimes we say to warn them in writing within the family. For some people, a written warning is more effective than a verbal warning. If they do not improve despite these, concrete steps may need to be taken.”