The brutal murder of Ayşe Tokyaz, who came from Hatay to Istanbul with the dream of attending university, after being deceived with false promises of marriage, is not just a crime; it is a painful reflection of the risks and loneliness young women face in big cities. President of Üsküdar University and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan issued striking warnings in an exclusive interview with Ekol TV.
The tragic death of Ayşe Tokyaz, who lost her life at a young age in Istanbul, is not only a personal tragedy; it has once again brought to the forefront the security challenges faced by young women in large cities, their psychological vulnerability, and the lack of social support.
President of Üsküdar University and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, in his interview with Senem Uluhan of Ekol TV, drew attention to the multi-layered aspects of the incident and shared important messages with families and society.
Here’s Tarhan’s interview:
Toxic Relationships and Criminal Tendencies
- Ayşe Tokyaz’s brutal murder has revealed many social and psychological problems. In your opinion, what are the main causes of this incident, and what lessons should society take from it?
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan emphasizes that the savage killing of a young girl who came to Istanbul for university is not just an individual incident, but a multi-dimensional issue involving psychological, social, and cultural factors. Such incidents are part of the global rise in domestic violence and, more specifically, violence against women. For example, in the United States, 17% of emergency room visits are due to domestic violence.
According to Tarhan, individuals who commit such murders are often criminally inclined and possess toxic personality traits. Characteristics such as psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism, which is known in psychology as the “toxic triad”, often converge in these individuals. They tend to be ruthless, selfish, antisocial, and manipulative. Therefore, it is vital that young people maintain professional boundaries when interacting with such individuals.
The Role of Education and Families in Protecting Against Fake Romanticism
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan warns that young women must be cautious of “predatory men” who approach them with false promises of romance. He underlines the critical importance of building relationships based on character rather than appearance. Highlighting that a woman’s mental strength is more decisive than physical power, Tarhan stresses that gender roles should be integrated into the education system, as families are increasingly inadequate in transmitting core values.
Tarhan points out that humane values such as compassion and conscience are being replaced by self-interest, and these values should be taught scientifically in schools. He also warns that young women must stay alert to individuals with criminal records or antisocial tendencies, while families must play a conscious and guiding role in this matter.
“Young people with a criminal background or a tendency toward violence can display antisocial behaviors and lose control. This poses significant risks, particularly for women who are alone late at night. For instance, the governor’s office in Houston, Texas, announced that they would not accept responsibility for women going out alone after 10:00 PM. It is vital for our young women and their families to understand this reality, be cautious, and raise awareness among their children,” he said.
President of Üsküdar University and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan also highlighted that since 2013, they have been offering courses on positive psychology and communication skills to their students , and courses that were included in the programs of prestigious universities such as Harvard, Yale, and Bristol only several years later.
The Right Environment and Strong Family Bonds Reduce Risks
– For young people, especially young women who come to big cities for university, what is the foundation of their sense of protection and security? What can be done to build this sense in a healthy way?
Young people are children of their time, and when they grow up in the right social environment, they stay away from harmful behaviors and even learn to say “no.”
Establishing healthy communication with the family is critically important in protecting young people from risks. Girls aged 18–19 may not have fully completed adolescence, which puts them at greater risk. Therefore, instead of saying, “I will not send my child to study in a big city,” parents should consider where their child can be raised better with the right information and support. The risk does not depend solely on the city; if there are strong family bonds and social support, young people can be protected from harmful friendships and learn to say “no” to the wrong people.
The Importance of Early Education in Empathy and Conscience
Protecting young people does not mean hiding them; it requires equipping them with the ability to cope with good and bad. Parenting today is more challenging, and parents must build high-quality and equal relationships with their children. Scientific studies show the importance of teaching conscience, empathy, and compassion at an early age. Young people raised this way become principled, honorable, and strong individuals.
“Parents and young people should act with awareness, not fear. It is important to make the right decisions by balancing reason and emotion. Such a conscious approach not only enables young people to protect themselves but also helps them learn about life.”
Inner Resilience and a Strong Social Network Protect Young People
– During the upcoming university preference period, how should families and young people manage their anxieties, and what can be done for better psychological well-being?
According to Tarhan, having a supportive social environment is crucial. University counseling and psychological guidance units need to provide active services. When young people benefit from such institutional support, they can solve their problems more easily. In other words, the university they attend should have a vision and protective institutional mechanisms. If a university is unregulated, where attendance is not tracked and supervision is weak, these young people can become “lost cases.”
Therefore, institutions where young people can study safely and where psychosocial support systems are strong should be prioritized.
Young people should not become pessimistic in the face of negative experiences; they should focus on developing inner resilience. Universities should teach not only academic knowledge but also social skills such as cooperation, sharing, and maintaining a positive outlook. In an environment