Prof. Nevzat Tarhan: “Science of Kindness must be taught in schools”

Many scientific studies have been carried out on the concept of goodness in recent years. The University of Oxford has also established a kindness laboratory called the 'Kind Lab' to conduct research on the subject. Stating that the survival of humanity is closely related to the concept of ‘kindness’, President of Üsküdar University Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that "Kindness is an old and universal concept. If humanity is alive now, it owes it to the concept of goodness. That's why we need to teach young people this science of kindness in our schools. Currently, a popular culture has emerged, which teaches self-centeredness, being conformist and self-interest, and which even allows to throw up another’s heel to achieve the goal. If that does not change, the world will deteriorate for the worse. This is a very important issue in terms of social benefit.".

The object of goodness became the ego!

Prof. Nevzat Tarhan gave examples of the studies carried out in the Kindness Laboratory of Oxford University and said that "The result of the Kindness Laboratory shows that goodness is an older concept than religion, and it is universal. If humanity is alive now, it owes it to the concept of goodness. The kindness that makes people happy can only be unconditional favors that are done without expecting anything in return. In happiness, there are happiness due to internal cause; 'I did this, I was happy, I was successful, I was content, I was happy to put this work out', happiness in the style of 'I did this, I was happy' are happiness due to internal causes. Happiness due to external causes provides people with much more sustainable happiness. There is a concept of goodness in man. However, since this age glorifies self-centeredness, it is interesting to note that it has turned kindness into a way of 'doing good to oneself'. There is a sense of doing good, beautiful things in a human. However, nowadays ego has become the object of goodness. As such, it becomes selfish kindness. For example, one does a favor to someone they love, a person does conditional favors. If a person obeys them, a person does favor, if they do not, a person does not do favors."

Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that there has been a lot of scientific research on kindness behavior recently and stated that "People feel happiness when they do a good thing for themselves and when they do good to others. Good deeds done to someone else bring out sustainable happiness on both sides. That's why we need to teach young people this science of kindness in our schools. At the moment, a popular culture has emerged that teaches self-centeredness, being a conformist self-interest that it even allows to throw up another’s heel to achieve the goal. If that does not change, the world will deteriorate for the worse. This is a very important issue in terms of social benefit."

Peace is sustainable happiness

Stating that happiness does not have an end in our culture and sustainable happiness is defined as 'peace', Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that "Peace is to be able to capture a sustainable and eternal sense of happiness in us. It is necessary to do good to succeed in catching it. Doing good deed for a serious meaning, for high value, makes one at peace with oneself and causes happiness for both the giver and the receiver."

Treadmill happiness

Pointing out that happiness is expressed as 'Treadmill happiness', Tarhan said that "When you run on the treadmill, you make an adjustment. ' I'm going to run this fast or that fast,' you adjust it to your own body, to your own needs. This is how happiness can be arranged. Regarding happiness, the person needs to be active as on the treadmill. When a person adjusts to happiness, they can change those happiness settings."

The person determines the happiness setting

Tarhan continued his remarks as follows: "In such cases, the happiness experienced by the person becomes sustainable. These are called 'Happiness set points'. It depends on the person. A person determines their own happiness setting. If a person makes this adjustment well, one can achieve sustainable happiness continuously. Achievements such as wealth and career success are also happiness. However, the act of unconditional kindness, making people happy and content, shows that life is not a transaction, not an exchange. Random favors come up when you least expect it. There is a law of psychology hidden in unconditional favors. When you help and aid people, it comes back to you as an invisible favor. It is said among the people, 'Throw it into the sea, if the fish do not know, the creator will know'. In fact, it confirms this. This is the age of scientific soundness. Since science supports it, we will talk more about doing good and about making yourself and others happy."

The act of gratitude serves happiness

Pointing out that the science of happiness and the science of kindness are mentioned together, Tarhan said that "Well-being is not only the feeling of a person, but also the well-being of a person by making others feel good. It is the attainment of happiness and peace through social connections and unconditional kindness. This is possible by making meaningful connections. One of the important steps in the science of kindness is to achieve sustainable happiness by making meaningful connections." Giving examples of practices in the science of kindness, Tarhan described the acts of gratitude and kindness used in psychotherapy:

"A person has done a favor in the past. In such cases, we say that 'Think of someone who has done you a favor in the past, find them and buy a gift. And say them ‘You have done me this good deed in the past, thank you,' and if you give a gift, you change the setting of happiness again with it, and that act of unconditional kindness and gratitude serves happiness and health in the person. Politeness is also an act of kindness. Kindness involves respect, not out of fear, but out of love. In the science of kindness, it is very important to set goals and plan for the future. The winds keep dragging a person who lives aimlessly like a ship out of the harbor that does not know where to go. The ship, which is determined where it is going, is helped by the winds. People with meaningful and achievable goals are also helped by life in such situations. When this person sees and helps someone who has been injured on the journey of life, in some way, that person is both experiencing their own inner peace and contributing to social peace. In such cases, it seems that there may be no going back to it, but this kind of unconditional behavior also makes it easy for people to reach the goal easily."

Stating that it was a habit to do good deed in the ancient culture in Anatolia, Tarhan said that "It is not a coincidence that the Ottoman Empire provided social peace and lived for so many years. The habit of random act of kindness plays an enormous role in this. For example, someone who has good financial status comes and pays all debts from store credit in a market during Ramadan. These are random good deeds.”

 

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)