Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that egoism is a behavioral pattern, while narcissism is a personality type, adding that everyone has a narcissistic core within them. Reminding that psychoanalyst Prof. Otto Kernberg referred to narcissism as the 'bad part,' Tarhan said, 'This narcissistic part is the bad part. It says 'always me.' It is the selfish part within us. Among the public, narcissists are known as arrogant. Arrogance is the biggest characteristic of narcissists.' Tarhan stated that to overcome the narcissism within oneself, one must do selfless good deeds.
Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, made evaluations on narcissism and ego. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that the ego is a part of our personality, saying, 'Our personality has 3 main parts: ego, super-ego, and id. Each has a different characteristic. The super-ego is the controller, the regulator. The ego is the adapter. It provides adaptation. The id, on the other hand, is selfish and demands everything it wants.'
The Ego is Like a Captain's Bridge
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that in a healthy person, the ego acts like a captain's bridge within the personality structure, saying, 'The ego is the final decision-maker and sits at the steering wheel. The id is merely in a position of excessive wanting and demanding, which is referred to as 'nefs' in our culture. Such personality types are individuals who have failed to draw the line between the ego and the id.'
Is Zero Ego Possible?
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that zero ego is not possible, stating, 'When there is zero ego, a person becomes vegetative or like other living beings. The ego is our adaptive, or controlling, system. The most important function of the frontal region of our brain is the ego function. This does not exist in other living beings. Ego means 'I'. In our culture, it is known as 'ben', 'benlik', 'enaniyet', 'ene'. In Old Turkish, 'ene' is 'enaniyet'. 'Benlik' is called 'enaniyet', and 'ben' is called 'ego'.'
Conscience Exists in the Super-Ego
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that the super-ego contains an innate part, which can also be defined as conscience, learned from the environment as one lives life, saying, 'There is a part of our ego in the super-ego. The super-ego functions as a controlling, regulating mechanism in the environment and family where a person grows up. If a person constantly remains under the influence of their ego, they always want to be at the center of the world. A person who gets everything they want becomes a narcissistic individual.'
Secondary Narcissism in Schizophrenia
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that there is secondary narcissism in schizophrenia, saying, 'Schizophrenic individuals only say 'I'. For example, if someone next to them is harmed, they don't care. Someone might be talking. They think, 'They are talking against me.' They see themselves as special and superior. Just like a child, they separate 'me' and 'others'. In schizophrenia, due to the illness, they revert to primary narcissism like a child.' Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan added, 'Egoism is a behavioral pattern. Narcissism, on the other hand, is a personality type. Every narcissist is an egoist, but not every egoist is a narcissist. Everyone can be egoistic from time to time, but to be called a narcissist, other personality traits must also be present in the person. This is primary narcissism.'
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that narcissism becomes pathological in individuals who see themselves as a prophet or messiah, saying, 'If a person identifies themselves as an envoy, a god, or a messiah, this becomes a clinical case. These can sometimes be very intelligent individuals. They also gather followers around them. They can be influential types, with captivating features, and they sway others.'
Narcissistic Individuals Cannot Empathize
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that narcissistic personalities cannot empathize, stating, 'Because these individuals cannot empathize, they are always nourished by praise. People who praise themselves also gather around these individuals after a while. Sometimes, they can also be observed to be patient. This is because they endure suffering and difficulties to reach their goals. They prefer to die rather than fail. They act this way because they operate with the logic of 'I will succeed or I will die.' '
Arrogance is Their Biggest Characteristic
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that everyone has a narcissistic core within them, stating that psychoanalyst Prof. Otto Kernberg called narcissism the 'bad part': 'This narcissistic part is the bad part. It says, 'Always me.' It is the selfish part within us. Among the public, narcissists are known as arrogant. Egoists, for example, may not be known as arrogant. They can even appear very humble, but narcissistic individuals are known as arrogant. In our culture, there is even a saying, 'If you fill a room with all evils, arrogance opens its door.' Therefore, arrogance is the biggest characteristic of narcissists. This is also a devilish trait.'
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that a narcissistic person actually plays a role of grandiosity to suppress the inadequacy within them, saying, 'If a person needs to play a role of grandiosity, it means they have feelings of deficiency or inadequacy, worthlessness, and inferiority. They protect themselves by appearing grand while battling their emotions.'
A Child Who Cannot Learn Empathy from Parents Begins to Love Themselves
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that when the childhood of narcissistic individuals is examined, it is seen that the mother's soothing effect is weak, saying, 'This is very common in children where the mother's soothing effect is weak because the child mirrors with the mother and father. If the child cannot learn empathy from the mother and father, the child starts to love themselves, withdrawing inward. They try to survive only by seeing themselves as grand to protect themselves. If both the mother's personality, the father's personality, and the siblings' personalities can encompass the social boundaries in between, the child learns the boundaries between their own grandiosity and others' grandiosity and does not violate boundaries. Therefore, taming narcissism is actually the 'I' (ego) learning its boundaries.'
How Can We Correct the Narcissism Within Us?
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, 'All of us have a tendency towards narcissism, and this continues until the end of life. If a person says, 'I am now myself, I am among the good, I am no longer narcissistic,' they are blind. They cannot see themselves, just as they cannot see the tip of their nose. If a person wants to correct their own narcissism, we have a 'pill' suggestion. We tell the person to do silent good deeds. If they accept doing silent good deeds without showing off, without anyone seeing or hearing, they can succeed. Because narcissists are fed by praise. If a person adopts the philosophy that 'one hand gives, the other does not see,' they take an important step in taming their own narcissism.'
Say No to Master-Slave Relationships
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that a narcissistic person desires a master-slave relationship in marriage, saying, 'For example, if there is a narcissistic spouse in a marriage, they can oppress the other spouse. Especially because they value their children highly and fear losing them, they endure what they go through. The person living with a narcissistic individual should not allow themselves to be oppressed. Especially from women, it is expected to manage the other party and make sacrifices. A woman continuously gives but eventually falls into depression and seeks a doctor. This should not be allowed. A person with such a narcissistic spouse should express their thoughts to their spouse as, 'I love you, I value you, but I am not your slave. I have my privacy, I have my personality. I do not want you to treat me this way.' The person needs to acquire the ability to say no.'
Narcissism Flourishes in Emotion-Based Societies
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that this situation is one of the reasons for divorce after the age of 50, saying, 'Therefore, against similar situations, it is necessary to draw personality boundaries at the very beginning of a marriage. The threshold for sacrifice in women is high. Making sacrifices is innate. It is in their biological nature. As a mother, she should be sacrificial due to the maternal instinct, but as a spouse, she should adjust the dosage. The grand-seeing aspect of narcissistic individuals should not be nourished. When criticizing these individuals, there must be justified criticisms. Narcissism thrives in emotion-based societies. The deification of individuals is the biggest mistake of our Eastern culture. Since Western culture is thought-based, most philosophers have emerged from the West, but currently, East and West need each other. The West also needs a heart.'
Narcissism is a Pathology That Causes Wars
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that narcissism is a pathology that causes wars, saying, 'Among historical figures, Napoleon was narcissistic, Alexander was narcissistic. Napoleon's famous hand on his chest is an indicator of his narcissistic side. A narcissist says, 'I will either succeed or I will die.' They see success or failure as a reason for living. They say, 'If I'm going to fail, I might as well cease to exist.' Narcissistic individuals fear failure.'
Hitler is a Destructive Narcissist
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that if a narcissistic person succeeds, they are called a restorative or constructive narcissistic leader, and if they fail, they are called a destructive narcissistic leader, adding that Hitler was one of the destructive narcissistic types. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that Hitler's personality has been thoroughly examined, saying, 'Hitler had a very good childhood. His mother was very protective. She raised her child as someone special and important. His father was somewhat indistinct, liberal, and he was consistently raised to be success-oriented. Because he was raised to be success-oriented, as a 'project child,' he has a narcissistic personality structure. Those with this structure fear failure. Their greatest need is to be told they are intelligent and talented.'
Narcissistic Individuals Were Taken as Examples in the World
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that Napoleon was a narcissistic individual who did not benefit from criticism, and that the West also took Napoleon as an example, noting that Napoleon's personality being taken as an example played a very significant role in the first and second world wars. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan also stated that Napoleon took Machiavelli as an example, saying, 'Machiavelli lived in the 1500s, Napoleon in the 1800s, and Hitler in the 1900s. These were taken as examples.'
Political Narcissism Noticed During World War II
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that World War II led to the recognition of narcissism and political narcissism in the world, and subsequently, the United Nations was established, saying, 'With the UN, democracy was discovered because opposition is necessary. Opposition is the greatest cure for narcissism. Cultural opposition is needed against cultural narcissism. Political opposition is needed against political narcissism. Where there is no opposition, when not questioned, the narcissist deifies themselves. When there are flatterers around them, narcissists begin to make mistakes.'