Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan was the guest of the 'Author-Reader Meetings' organized online by the Samsun Provincial Directorate of National Education. Speaking about his book "Being a Conscious Family," Tarhan stated that the family is a living structure with its own personality. Tarhan also noted that during this period, family members should value and show understanding to each other, and individuals should spend more time together. Tarhan added that if we want the family to be peaceful, we should choose a model that focuses on positives rather than negatives.
"The magic concept of family communication is positive communication"
Tarhan, mentioning a study conducted by the University of Nebraska in America, said, "Three common characteristics of happy marriages were identified in a region of Central America. First, they spend a lot of time together. Second, positive words such as appreciation and approval are frequently used. Third, couples go to church together. These three important points are essentially a positive approach that one should adopt as a life philosophy to make their marriage happy. Positive communication is important. For example, when a problem arises within the family, it is very important to show a positive approach when solving it, trying to resolve it by thinking about how to turn the situation into an opportunity rather than a threat. When one party does this, the other party is positively affected. If we want the family to be peaceful, it is important to choose a spouse's role that focuses on positives rather than negatives. We can say that the magic concept of family communication is positive communication."
"Virtual reality is a debated topic in human history"
Addressing the impact of digitalization and technological innovations on children, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "There is a digital generation right now. The digitalization of the world has economic, political, and global consequences. Most importantly, it has consequences for individuals. There are currently natives of the digital generation. Our generations are immigrants. We learn it later. They are born into the digital world. People aged 40-50 may have difficulty understanding them. Because their thinking styles are different. They live with virtual reality, unlike physical reality. This characteristic is a seriously debated topic in human history."
"The brains of people who feel psychologically well do not age"
Tarhan emphasized that one of the secrets to enjoying life is being in a positive emotional state, stating, "Seligman has a beautiful definition related to positive psychology, his described PERMA model. One of the steps of the PERMA model is for a person to be in a positive emotional state. If a person's perspective is positive, they manage events better when they go through various trials. People with a negative outlook constantly have high anxiety, are skeptical, do not enjoy life, and cannot relax because they look at events from a negative perspective. There are super-agers, ninety years old, but their intelligence is brilliant. Research conducted on them revealed a common characteristic: the brains of people who feel psychologically well and experience a positive emotional state do not age."
"When there is love, fear diminishes"
Referring to horizontal relationships, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "Partnership is important instead of authoritarianism. Approaching the younger generation with an authoritarian attitude today means losing them. You need to take them alongside you and walk together. This way, the child feels valued. Trust is also very important in a family. We used to call the family a nest of love, now we call it a nest of trust. For trust to exist, there must be love, and when there is love, fear diminishes."