Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, was a guest at the monthly E-Seminars organized jointly by the Association of Advocates for Justice (ASDER) and the Association of Advocates for Justice Strategic Research Center (ASSAM). Tarhan, who made important evaluations on 'Family Values,' stated that comfort brings us challenges.
“A Safe Space is Needed for One's Health”
In the program moderated by Journalist Şaban Özdemir, Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan shared his insights on the topic of “Family Values.”
In the program, which was held online due to pandemic measures and garnered intense interest, psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan emphasized that 60-70% of diseases, according to recent research, are related to lifestyle. Tarhan pointed out that a safe space is necessary for a person to be healthy, underscoring the importance of a child growing up in a safe environment, and that a baby in a safe space would even start walking more easily. Tarhan spoke about maternal deprivation syndrome, explaining that a child is very attached to its mother, and if the mother is not present when the child is a baby, it will cry constantly and mistake every moving thing for its mother. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that children without their mothers present lack a sense of trust, and in such cases, stress hormones emerge at a very early age, making children prone to illnesses. Tarhan emphasized that family is a common human value at this point and a very important topic in our traditions.
“Every Family Should See Its Own Shortcomings”
Reminding that communication within the family has three pillars, Tarhan said, “the first is healthy communication, where both sides can solve problems through communication… The second is conflicting communication, where a small problem immediately turns into big issues. The third is a lack of communication… This is the most dangerous. There is no communication here. The parties avoid each other, and this is even more dangerous than conflicting communication.”
Stating that healthy communication needs to be learned and does not emerge spontaneously, Tarhan used the expressions, “Every family should recognize its own shortcomings and correct them; training on healthy family communication should be received.”
“Comfort Brings Us Challenges”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the human brain loves comfort and does not want to strive when things can be easily obtained. Tarhan underlined that this is not the right path, and individuals should be taught responsibilities and challenges from a young age. Tarhan emphasized that families need to strike a balance between freedom and responsibility, and parents should say, when a child wants something, 'Of course, I'll do this, but you must complete your task first.' Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “The reason for the difficulties we are currently facing is our addiction to comfort. Diseases are a calamity from God, not a third world war, thankfully, but what is happening to us right now is a message… We need to understand this, correct ourselves, learn our lesson, and move forward.”
“In Our Culture, the Woman is the Internal Manager of the Home”
Referring to the impact of women's participation in working life on family structure, Tarhan stated that the most important research area in America right now is 'where is women's comfort.' Tarhan explained that the feminist movement, which started after the 1960s, was a movement for women's liberation, and its starting point was good and right. He emphasized that in the patriarchal culture that has continued for centuries, the relationship between men and women was like that of a master and slave, but now in the information age, with the supremacy of information power, things have changed. Tarhan stated that previously, the superiority of physical strength led to the oppression of women, but now brainpower has equalized both sides. Tarhan used the expressions, “In our culture, the woman is the internal manager of the home, she is responsible for the house, but men both say 'I am superior' outside and then come home and interfere with the placement of furniture; that's not how it works. A woman feels like an object in the house; they shouldn't interfere with everything.”
“We Must Provide an Ego Ideal, Otherwise They Become Isolated”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that if people live by considering all responsibilities and laws, they will hold their heads high, be honorable, and leave a beautiful mark on life before departing, emphasized that a person should have a purpose that gives meaning to life, and will derive immense pleasure from life when they have a meaningful purpose that death cannot change. Tarhan said; “We must give a child, a young person, an ego ideal, otherwise they become isolated; for them not to become isolated, our life philosophy must be correct. Whatever is discussed most at home becomes the child's life ideal… Therefore, let's discipline ourselves first, and our children will naturally improve.”