'Project Children' unhappy for the sake of dreams and hobbies…

Experts state that from infancy, individuals begin to show clues about their talents, interests, desires, and skills. They add that when families turn their children into 'project children' based on their own unfulfilled dreams, it can make the child feel psychologically worthless and also cause difficulties later in life. Lecturer Elif Konar Özkan, emphasizing that we should accept children as unique individuals, said, “Children, who could actually be successful and happy by directing their life energy towards areas where they have talent, interest, desire, and skill, can instead turn into bored, useless, cynical individuals.”

They can turn into bored individuals when they could be happy in areas they are interested in…

Elif Konar Özkan, Lecturer at the Child Development Department of Üsküdar Üniversitesi Faculty of Health Sciences, made statements about identifying children's interests and how to guide them correctly.

Observant parents can discover their child's talents

Lecturer Elif Konar Özkan stated that individuals begin to show clues about their talents, interests, desires, and skills from infancy, and added, “Observant parents and caregivers, aiming to know the child, will discover the child's talents and which hobbies they might be interested in. The child provides many clues about themselves in their games and toys, in the activities they engage in, in their questions, and in their answers to questions. It falls to the adult to genuinely intend to get to know the child. Furthermore, developmental monitoring, observation, and follow-ups also create adult awareness in this context.”

 Families whose hobbies were hindered can project their aspirations onto their children

Özkan stated, “We observe that mothers and fathers often try to direct their children towards hobbies they longed for in their own childhood and youth.” She noted that in such situations, it is natural for these efforts to remain fruitless. Özkan pointed out that we might have experienced similar situations in our own lives or surroundings, saying, “The father wanted to play the saz, but his family did not allow it. This father, whose hobbies were hindered and talents suppressed, can project all his aspirations and frustrations onto his own child when he has one. However, if he were to observe or play with the child a little, he would realize that the child is actually talented in drawing or plastic arts, not music.”

Özkan stated that children reflect their dominant perceptions and learning models in their daily life skills, attitudes, and behaviors, saying, “Are their manual skills good, are their fine motor skills developed, do they have practicality; is their aesthetic perception more dominant… All these details can be understood through observation, focusing on getting to know the child. If the family or caregiver cannot clarify this, they can seek expert support.”

Interests can be discovered while playing with children at an early age

Lecturer Elif Konar Özkan, pointing out that there cannot be any child in the world without interests or skills, said, “Since a child provides previews of themselves while playing, interests can be discovered especially during early childhood while playing with the child. When children's interests differentiate, even if they play the same games and use the same toys, their playing styles change.”

We must accept children as unique individuals

Özkan stated that child development specialists most frequently use the phrase ‘Individual differences’, adding, “We must approach each child by accepting them as a unique individual, a different world. Gardner's ‘Theory of Multiple Intelligences’ helps us identify interest areas. According to the Theory of Multiple Intelligences, eight intelligences related to individual interest and skill areas are mentioned: Logical-Mathematical, Verbal-Linguistic, Visual-Spatial, Intrapersonal, Social, Interpersonal, Musical-Rhythmic, Bodily-Kinesthetic, and Naturalist.”

Children should be given freedom to determine their interests

Özkan stated, “To make accurate determinations and hit the target when identifying children's interests, children should be given freedom, responsibility, and the right to choose.” She added that being with the child, meeting their need for support, and building their self-confidence are important.
Elif Konar Özkan noted that a child making choices suitable for themselves, such as which responsibilities they willingly fulfill in daily life skills, will reveal their interests, saying, “Picture books read to children, transmitted oral cultural elements, games, activities, different courses, camps, and group projects are effective in discovering a child's interests. Focusing on a child's strengths and enabling them to recognize these strengths themselves, providing motivational support, employing appreciation and encouragement-centered approaches, not forcing them into areas they dislike or don't want, not hindering their excitement for discovery and desire to invent, are all necessary to support children's talents and guide them to appropriate areas.”

Failure to unleash their potential can push them away from life

Lecturer Elif Konar Özkan underlined that parents and caregivers turning their child into a “project child” based on their own unfulfilled dreams can cause the child to feel psychologically worthless and also face difficulties in their professional life and social life in later periods. She warned, “Children, who could actually be successful and happy by directing their life energy towards areas where they have talent, interest, desire, and skill, can instead turn into bored, useless, cynical individuals. Their inability to realize their potential can make them feel suppressed, as if imprisoned, and push them away from life.”

Every seed wants to reveal its potential, and so does a child…

Lecturer Elif Konar Özkan from the Child Development Department of the Faculty of Health Sciences emphasized that it is not right to force children, saying, “Every seed wants to reveal its potential. Unfortunately, if it doesn't find the right soil and care, it rots. The child is our most precious being. Therefore, we should approach with the meticulousness of a jeweler, a surgeon, a therapist, and we must not compel or condemn them to remain outside of life and society.”

Özkan stated that the measure is a child's ability to realize their potential in accordance with their age and development, and concluded her words as follows:

“In fact, the responsibility of the adult is to support each child as they are, taking their individual differences into account.”