President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, met with over 3,000 parents as part of the “Parent Meetings” program organized by the Istanbul Provincial Directorate of National Education.
“We are forced to hospitalize more adolescents than ever before…”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, who stated that if the diagnosis is wrong, the treatment could also be wrong, at the meeting which educators and parents showed great interest; continued as follows:
“The shift experienced in child and adolescent mental health in recent years is not coincidental. There are two important factors. First, the pandemic turned many things upside down. While we expected the elderly to be affected most before the COVID pandemic, it was mainly young people who were affected. Beyond the pandemic, technology accelerated here. There was a global erosion in universal values. This affected us greatly. For example, the erosion of global values affected us more than its impact in Europe. When all these came together, for instance, peer bullying in schools, which is around 30 percent in Europe, is about 40 percent here. In my many years as a psychiatrist, we have been forced to hospitalize more adolescents in recent years than ever before. When we investigate the root cause of these, 80 out of 100 cases turn out to be similar. Therefore, this momentum seems set to continue. It cannot be eliminated but can be reduced. Important duties fall to families, educators, and the school climate here. Young people certainly have a role to play, but before that, the school climate and the family's awareness on this issue are very important. To solve a problem, one must first become aware of it. Awareness is the first step. If there is no awareness, the diagnosis is wrong. If the diagnosis is wrong, the treatment is also wrong. That's why making the correct diagnosis is important.”
“Young people need mentorship”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that young people would recover quickly if the eroded values were revived in the program organized by the Istanbul Provincial Directorate of National Education; “Families should not be pessimistic. Our society has an Anatolian wisdom that has been passed down for centuries. If we revive this Anatolian wisdom and some eroded values, we will recover very quickly. We need to be good companions and mentors to young people. Young people need mentorship. Peer mentorship is also important here. At the university, we implemented a ‘Peer Mentorship - Target Friendship’ program. For example, there were international students. Students from each country – Nigerians as one group, Palestinians as another, Syrians as another, Central Asians as another – were moving around. We conducted pre-tests and post-tests. As a result of these, in this Target Friendship project, we paired a Turkish student with an international student for peer mentorship. We also made group trips to various places in Istanbul. They integrated wonderfully, and that tension ended. Otherwise, there were polarizations. There were groupings, quarrels, raised voices, but they improved. There are solutions to these; that is, the solution is scientific methodology.” he said.
“We need to find solutions to problems with scientific methodology”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan underlined that giving new answers to new questions is the methodology of science in this era; “We need to find solutions to problems with scientific methodology. Our traditional solutions are no longer effective. We will give new answers to old questions. If we give old answers to old questions, we will keep spinning our wheels in the same place. The methodology for giving new answers to new questions in this era is the methodology of science. And there are methods for this that the whole world uses, and which we currently have the infrastructure to use very easily. We can progress with these. When children who use violence against their parents come to us, what we most often see is that these children are newly entered adolescence. Early adolescence is around 12-14 years old. In early adolescence, we look at how children are raised. First, we check if there's a neurodevelopmental disorder; a situation similar to autism, or an illness. If there's no illness, we look at the upbringing. We look at the parent roles in the family. Does the child know the lines of right-wrong, good-bad, freedom and responsibility, do they know their boundaries? The child is raised like the ruler of the house, parents revolve around the children. The child thinks everything they want should happen at school. Their friends should do everything they want because they don't know boundaries. Then the pain inside turns into anger. Anger accumulates and turns into hostility, and when hostility continues, it turns into violence. There is such a chain progression. If there is no parental guidance in such situations, no expert intervention, usually such major incidents occur. That is, children specially raised like the ruler of the house are very risky children.” he stated.
“When psychological resilience studies are conducted, problems are solved before they escalate”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan mentioned that unpredictability, uncertainty, and the absence of a basic sense of trust in a child are enough to cause damage to the brain; “The purpose of family mentorship or peer mentorship is not to correct pathology or illness, but to strengthen healthy aspects. By strengthening healthy aspects and conducting psychological resilience studies, problems are solved before they escalate. This is called primary prevention. Such solutions exist. A child takes their mother, father, and their relationship as an example. If there is constant tension at home, brain scan studies have been conducted. In brain scan studies in the US, trauma traces in the brains of soldiers who went to the Iraq War were investigated, and they identified which brain structure was damaged. They also performed brain scans on children in stormy marriages. Children in marriages showed the same trauma traces in their brains as soldiers in war. What is the greatest fear in war? Insecurity, fear of death, and unpredictability, uncertainty. For a child, unpredictability, uncertainty, and the absence of a basic sense of trust are enough to cause damage to the brain. After a while, the child accepts violence as a problem-solving method, a way of seeking rights, and continues it. In such incidents, they easily resort to violence with an approach like, ‘Whatever hinders me is my enemy, whatever is not with me is my enemy.’” he stated.
“People who can question have fewer boundary violations”
Tarhan, emphasizing that faster results are achieved when the goal is to strengthen young people's healthy aspects instead of solving problems; “When a human being wants something, they can rationalize it. They use reason in a negative way. Humanity is a master of self-deception. Those who practice self-criticism or are open to others' criticism, those who can question, have fewer boundary violations. School violence, incidents of carrying weapons to school, are very common in the US and are now starting to decrease. They conducted mindfulness studies in schools. In psychological resilience studies, before problems even arise, it's called ‘psychological resilience.’ Like ‘resilience’ for us; they conduct psychological resilience studies like school resilience, family resilience. They don't deal with problems at all. For example, if our guidance counselors acted to strengthen young people's healthy aspects instead of dealing with problematic cases, instead of solving the problem, faster results would be obtained. Regarding this, at the university, we carried out a 19-module study with 20 psychologists for about 5 years. We published this study as ‘Science of Happiness and Values’ in 2022. Then we made its second edition in 2025 in a supplementary textbook format. We produced solutions suitable for our own culture. There is a meaning and purpose module. In addition to that, there are modules for anger management, stress management, gratitude, thankfulness, forgiveness, and empathy. We teach empathy; indeed, the most important thing is the lack of empathy. When all these are absent, trust weakens, when trust weakens, fear emerges, and when fear emerges, violence appears. So, such an infrastructure is formed. Therefore, if we make the correct diagnosis, the solution will be correct.” he said.
“We are about to deplete the virtue ethics taught by our ancestors”
Tarhan, speaking about the need to perpetuate the values that make a society a society; “Technology has accelerated our lives, but meaning, purpose, and values give direction to our lives. Accelerating is good, giving direction is better. We need to continue the values that make us who we are. Why are these values important? Values, virtue ethics, are not genetic but epigenetic. Genetics come from our DNA. We are currently about to deplete the virtue ethics taught by our ancestors. Because epigenetics, two or three generations have passed. Sociological phases are usually thirty years. Three phases have passed, we are in the fourth phase. Now our schools should have the concern of teaching virtue ethics. Japanese and Chinese teach sharing and empathy to children aged 4-6. They even teach children that the fish in the aquarium will die to prepare them for life. The main foundation is laid at 4-6 years old. I heard that our Ministry of National Education has such a study; it should start with urgency. At least we will save 10-15 years later, but we will do this with scientific methodology. There are methods, and they fit our culture very well. I researched the mindfulness used by Americans; it's as if they have taken Mevlana, our Anatolian wisdom, developed a methodology, systematized it, turned it into science, and presented it to us as psychological resilience studies.” he stated.
“Communication in schools should not be one-way, but two-way”
Tarhan, stating that the lack of empathy opens the door to all evils; “Parents and educators need to be like ‘butterfly hunters.’ A butterfly hunter steps aside, waits, catches the butterfly without harming it, and puts it in a cage. Instead of reacting immediately when a child does something, there is a need for leadership that can see beyond the immediate. One must compassionately catch the social and emotional clues in that child's mistakes. For example, if a child has withdrawn into themselves or a child who always spoke no longer does, it needs to be noticed. At school and at home, we should know our students, our children, like the back of our hand. Communication in schools should not be one-way but two-way. The Ministry of National Education's new models include project-based education and teamwork; this is a revolutionary thing. The West progresses in technology because it raises such questioning individuals. For this to happen, highly secure societies are needed because people must feel safe about their future. In the US, they opened trauma-sensitive high schools. They are called SEL (Social Emotional Learning) schools. They conduct social and emotional skills work with children in risk groups. It is very important for educators and families to teach empathy. A child who learns empathy understands the feelings and rights of the other party. The lack of empathy opens the door to all evils.” he said.
“We need to strengthen our spiritual immune system”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan underlined that irresponsibility has become widespread under the name of freedom; “School administration needs to improve life with the rule of trust. If one person makes a mistake and doesn't get punished, but another does, the sense of justice is damaged, and violence increases. Trust is social capital and has two legs: trust and cooperation. Internal control, that is, conscience, is very important. External control, punishment, is not sufficient. Today, irresponsibility has become very widespread under the name of freedom. The control of family and school has weakened. We need to strengthen our spiritual immune system. Parents should strive not only to make their children happy but also to prepare them for life. Obsession with power, beauty, and success exploits people. True happiness is knowing yourself and being at peace with yourself. Behind behavioral disorders in children, there is often ‘hidden depression.’ A child doesn't say ‘I'm depressed,’ but shows it through their behavior. If there is love and discipline at home, even if the child makes mistakes outside, they will eventually return to the peace at home. We should view crises as opportunities for growth and development.” he stated.
“Our brain is like a biological computer, and our mind manages it”
Tarhan concluded his words by drawing attention to the 5S rule that should be applied in the family; “A study conducted by the University of Nebraska on happy families found three common characteristics. Spending time together; the most beautiful gift spouses can give each other is quality companionship. A two-way communication where eye contact is established and they listen to each other, even for 10-15 minutes. Frequently using words of appreciation, praise, and approval. Problems often arise in criticism-focused relationships. Saying, ‘You got a 97, why didn't you get a 100?’ makes the child resent life. One should focus on solving problems without hurting, not for ego gratification, but for the future of the family. Families who go to church together, meaning their philosophies of life are similar. This provides a trusting companionship. Like elderly couples showing compassion to each other. Compassion is a great emotion that contains empathy. Conditional love reduces self-confidence. In addition, there is the ‘5S Rule’ that should be applied in the family: Sevgi (Love), Saygı (Respect), Sabır (Patience), Sadakat (Loyalty), Samimiyet (Sincerity). Love should be unconditional. Respect, a respect with kindness. Patience, both not to rebel in negative situations and to endure difficulties when going towards a goal. Loyalty, both not to lie and commitment. Sincerity, on the other hand, is heartfeltness. Intention programs the brain. If you intend to wake up at 4 AM, you will wake up without setting an alarm. Our brain is like a biological computer, and our mind manages it.” he said.
