Meeting with educators in Trabzon, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that supporting children's psychological resilience in the digital age requires building trust-based relationships.
Emphasizing the importance of listening and spending time in relationships with children and young people, Prof. Tarhan said, “To smile, to make them feel valued, to listen to them… The most beautiful gift to young people is to spend time with them. It’s not easy, but this is the most beautiful gift.”
President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, met with educators at the Trabzon Provincial Directorate of National Education's conference titled “Psychological Resilience in the Digital Age and Safe School Climate.”
Prof. Tarhan made evaluations on the protection of children's and young people's mental health, the responsibilities of guidance counselors, the opportunities and risks brought by digitalization, values education, and educators' protection of their own psychological resilience during the program held at Hamamizade İhsan Bey Culture and Art Center.
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, emphasizing the importance of preventive work before mental health problems arise, stated, “Our guidance counselors currently constitute a widespread and trained staff in Turkey. They have a very serious opportunity in terms of protecting and preventing mental health issues for young people.”
Prof. Tarhan, explaining psychological resilience through the immune system analogy, expressed that developing skills to protect oneself against difficulties is valuable for preventing mental health problems.
Prof. Tarhan, referring to the importance of daily care habits in maintaining physical health, said, “Just as cleaning, washing our hands and face, brushing our teeth; washing away external dusts are important for our physical health in physical medicine, psychological hygiene is similarly important for our psychological health.”
Prof. Tarhan, focusing on sleep, nutrition, and daily life habits, assessed, “The most important enemy of psychological hygiene is the inability to manage stress.”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, explaining different attitudes towards stress with the analogies of “sponge,” “Teflon,” and “rubber,” emphasized that psychological resilience does not mean being unaffected by difficulties.
Prof. Tarhan explained that he used the sponge analogy for people who constantly complain, absorb every negativity, and are crushed by it, while with the Teflon analogy, he drew attention to attitudes that disregard the feelings of those around them and close themselves off to criticism. He described the healthy approach through the rubber analogy, which can flex and recover by learning from experiences.
Prof. Tarhan continued as follows:
“Rubber flexes, returns to its original state after the event, and learns something. In terms of psychological resilience, one should not be a sponge-type person who tortures themselves or a Teflon-type person who tortures others; instead, one needs to be a rubber-type who can flex in the face of events and return to their original state, managing stress this way. You will not be crushed, but you will be flexible, which we call mental flexibility.”
Prof. Tarhan, stating that rigid and persistent attitudes complicate relationships, said, “If you insist that what I say must happen, you enslave the other party; you want a master-slave relationship. Neither side can be happy in such a situation.”
Prof. Tarhan, explaining the approach of guidance counselors and parents to children with the “butterfly hunter” metaphor, stated the importance of guiding a child without damaging their developing spirit, saying, “If done this way, a young person will be guided much better on the path of life. We do this without harming that child's developing spirit.”
Prof. Tarhan explained that when evaluating a safe school environment, in addition to physical safety, the relationship students build with their teachers should also be considered, stating that the attitudes of school administration and teachers are reflected throughout the entire school.
Prof. Tarhan said that the following questions should be asked to understand a trust-based school environment:
“Can young people go to the guidance counselor, their homeroom teacher, or their advisor/instructor when a problem arises, before it escalates? If they can, then the 'butterfly hunter' situation, as we call it, emerges before the problem gets bigger.”
Prof. Tarhan, also touching upon the importance of teachers' observations in the classroom, stated that a student who was previously talkative becoming silent or withdrawing into a corner of the classroom should be noticed.
Prof. Tarhan explained that responding to a change in a student's behavior with interest can help them feel valued, stating, “The moment you at least say to them, ‘Do you need anything, I saw you a bit different today,’ you sow a seed in that child’s developing spirit. It is so important that they never forget that teacher again.”
Emphasizing the importance of listening and spending time in relationships with children and young people, Prof. Tarhan said, “To smile, to make them feel valued, to listen to them… The most beautiful gift to young people is to spend time with them. It’s not easy, but this is the most beautiful gift.”
During the conference, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan also touched upon positive psychology studies, explaining the PERMA model through the headings of positive emotions, engagement and flow in tasks, social relationships, meaning, and achievement.
Prof. Tarhan, emphasizing the importance of a person being able to dedicate themselves to their work, stated, “If you get caught up in a task and don't realize how time passes, that work you are doing is not work; it's like entertainment.”
Regarding social relationships, Prof. Tarhan drew attention to the presence of people who can be approached in difficult times and who listen without belittling, saying, “Finding such a friend is very important. Such a friend becomes a social bond for a person, giving them confidence.”
Prof. Tarhan, stating that adding meaning to life and work is also one of the important elements of psychological resilience, assessed, “If a person adds meaning to their work, they can manage suffering. If they add the right meaning, they can remain calm under stress and stay resilient in life.”
Prof. Tarhan stated that skills supporting psychological resilience should be taught in the school environment and drew attention to the importance of educators applying this approach in their own lives.
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the opportunities offered by digitalization should be evaluated correctly, pointing out the importance for young people to maintain their goals and boundaries while using technology.
Prof. Tarhan stated, “The digital world serves us if we don’t lose control in it. It speeds up our lives, makes it easier for us to find the truth, helps us in our profession, and increases our learning speed.”
Prof. Tarhan, stating that not only the duration but also the content and purpose of social media use are important, asked, “Using it at certain hours is important, but what is the actual content of social media, what content is being accessed, what meaning is being attributed to it?”
Prof. Tarhan stated that computers, mobile phones, and social media can be used to serve one's goals, assessing, “If we make it serve our purpose, it facilitates our lives, our access to information, and our socialization.”
Prof. Tarhan, emphasizing that adult behavior is decisive in values education, said that long lectures cannot replace exemplary behaviors in daily life, stating, “Whatever we experience, the child takes as an example. So, by saying they follow our footsteps, not our words, we mean they follow our behaviors.”
Tarhan stated that children learn through experiences, expressing that relationships established within the family and at school form the foundation of values education.
Prof. Tarhan, stating, “Value transfer does not happen by giving values conferences. It happens through experiences, through stories, through what is told in childhood,” added that sharing, compromise, and problem-solving skills can be supported through practical applications.
Prof. Tarhan stated that it is also important for educators, who listen to children's anxieties, family problems, and difficulties, to protect their own mental health, adding that helping others and giving meaning to one's work supports professional life.
Prof. Tarhan said, “Helping people, touching people’s souls, is actually beneficial to oneself and protects one’s own mental health.”
Tarhan, emphasizing the importance of being willing to connect with people in the fields of education and mental health, said, “If you want to be a good physician, a good clinician, a good psychological counselor, first be a good person.”
At the end of the conference, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan shared suggestions that educators can incorporate into their daily work, saying, “I have a beautiful 3A formula: Meaning, Aim, Friend.”
Tarhan, drawing attention to the importance for young people to develop future-oriented goals instead of solely focusing on today, stated, “The young person who succeeds in thinking in the medium and long term will make a difference in this era.”
Prof. Tarhan, stating that life is shaped by the choices made, suggested discussing with young people what kind of person they want to be. Tarhan said that the question, “What kind of person do you want to be when you reach the end of your life?” can contribute to the search for meaning.
Prof. Tarhan stated that adding meaning to one's work also supports thinking about societal benefit beyond individual gains, and continued as follows:
“For a mother, for a father, raising a good child is not less important than being a good business person. Being able to raise a good person in life is very important. We add meaning to our work. When you add meaning, a person both enjoys it and transcends themselves.”
President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Author Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, signed his works written within the scope of the program for the participants. In the highly popular signing session, Tarhan met with his readers.
