Üsküdar University Founding Rector Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan was the guest of the program organized by Afyonkarahisar Mufti's Office. Tarhan, who made evaluations on the topic of ‘Love and Respect in the Family’, stated that there are two types of intelligence: Akl-ı maaş and Akl-ı maad. Tarhan, stating that Akl-ı maaş is related to worldly subsistence, and Akl-ı maad is related to death and time, emphasized the importance of thinking about the Creator, life, death, and the afterlife. Tarhan, who said that reason has limits but love does not, used the expressions, “We will find with reason, we will approach with love. We will find the way with our minds, we will advance with our love.”
“If there is no communication at all, it means there is no effort to fix things”
In the program moderated by Provincial Deputy Mufti Sevdegül Çekiç, Tarhan emphasized the need to clarify what we understand by communication; “Generally, when we talk about communication, there are 3 important types of communication in family communication. The first is healthy communication. Healthy communication is an environment where everyone can share their feelings, thoughts, and needs. The second is conflictual communication. In conflictual communication, voices are constantly raised, there is constant tension, and there are power struggles and personality clashes at home. The third is lack of communication. That is, there is no communication at all. Both parties come home, but there is no conversation or talk. The most dangerous among these is the lack of communication. If there is no communication at all in a place, it means there is no effort to fix things. In such situations, it's as if they are playing extra time,” he said.
“The most narcissistic being in the world is a child”
Speaking about narcissistic people, Tarhan said; “A narcissistic person develops 'reality blindness'. Due to reality blindness, the person does not see their mistakes. If a person loses a needle, they search all over the room but cannot find it. Actually, the needle is on the table. The reason they don't see it is because they actually think it won't be on the table. There is a prejudiced view. Since narcissists always have prejudices, they look for fault in others, not in themselves. They have the characteristic of attributing fault to external causes. In such situations, they tend to always blame their spouse. Living with narcissistic people is very difficult. Everyone has some degree of narcissism. However, the most narcissistic beings in the world are children. Because the first thing a child loves is themselves. They first invest their love in their sense of self.” he used the expressions.
“Reason acts as a captain for our emotions”
Referring to how we should manage our love investment, Tarhan said; “God has given us a device like reason. Reason acts as a captain for our emotions. It guides them to the right path. In fact, there are two types of reason. These are; Akl-ı maaş and Akl-ı maad. Akl-ı maaş connects reason only to livelihood, to the world. The reason of the founders of positivism in the world is only this type of reason. Akl-ı maad is related to death and time. There is a mind that thinks of eternity there. Using that mind is also a part of reason. It is to think about the Creator, life, death, and the afterlife. We will find with reason, we will approach with love. Reason has limits, but love has no limits. We will find the way with our minds, we will advance with our love. This is what we cannot do. When we cannot do this, we go back and forth between two extremes. We need to establish a balance between the two.” he stated.