Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, Founding Rector of Üsküdar Üniversitesi, participated in the “Online Psychology Days with Kim 2022 Instagram Live Broadcast” organized by Kim Psikoloji Psychological Counseling Center. Tarhan made evaluations on the topic of ‘Future Anxiety’. Emphasizing that making mistakes is a part of development, Tarhan added that those who fear making mistakes will achieve nothing.
“Success is determined at the end of a person's life”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, who made evaluations in the broadcast moderated by Habip Erdem and attracted great interest, spoke about work being the wing of destiny. Tarhan; “No one can say 'I am successful' or 'I am unsuccessful'. Success is determined at the end of a person's life; this is called total success. Therefore, if I have been able to do different things compared to my peers and colleagues, there are certainly many reasons for this, but the most important one here is to be open to new experiences. In my profession, especially as a clinician, if a new treatment or method emerges in the world for the patient's treatment, I make sure to adopt and use them according to scientific and ethical standards. That's why we have achieved many firsts. Secondly, it is to work hard. They asked Einstein; 'What do you owe it to?' He said, '5% intelligence, 95% hard work.' The same applies here. There is such a law of psychology without working. It is even said that this is Yunus's saying: 'Working is the wing of destiny.' If you work, and many of your goals are correct, and the method you use is also correct, you will reach your goal.” he said.
“Those who fear making mistakes do nothing”
Tarhan also made evaluations on the subject that doing nothing makes people make mistakes; “Perfectionist individuals feel the need to be sure and approved. Just as the liver produces bile, our brain produces thoughts. The brain is the decision-making region here. What was previously known as will, now the average left-brain IQ… The right brain adds emotion to this thought. Then it decides. There is a network in the brain responsible for this. When doing this, in the frontal region of the brain in these individuals; they say 'Okay, it's done.' and cannot move on to another topic. After a while, that condition, which is called 'vesvese' (obsessive thoughts) among the public, becomes automatic in the brain through continuous repetition. The brain starts to give automatic responses. The pathways in the brain related to this thought, which were previously like footpaths, become like highways. Thoughts start coming continuously by themselves. In such a situation, it reaches a point where it requires drug treatment. But when passive, in such situations, these perfectionist individuals are not 0; the 0 of other people is equal to their 51%. The 51% group will do whatever is said. While other people want 100%, to be perfectionist and have zero mistakes, doing nothing also makes a person make mistakes. Those who fear making mistakes do nothing. This is a bigger mistake.” he said.
“Without mental agony, there is no mental birth”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan touched upon the idea that humans are more of a semantic being than a material one. Tarhan; “What brings forth our needs the most is dreaming. If a person has positive, goal-oriented dreams, those dreams lead to mental and emotional associations towards that goal. You might be sitting, thinking 'I can't do something,' and suddenly you stand up saying 'Ya Allah' (Oh God), and you move towards your goal. That's why it's necessary to ponder this issue. Without mental agony, without mental challenge, there is no mental birth. If you are going to create something physically, if you are going to do something, you must first challenge your mind, then incubate the idea, and then it suddenly emerges before you, and you progress in this way. Therefore, mental effort is very important in this regard. No one should think despairingly or pessimistically. In such matters, the greatest enemy is despair and pessimism. We talk about future anxiety, but in reality, among living beings, no other creature besides humans has a perception of the future. For example, think about the dream world of a cat or a dog. What is there? Meat, bones, food. But think about a human's dream world; it is different for every person. Because humans are more of a semantic being than a material one.” he stated.
“We can be objects, not subjects, of innovations”
Tarhan stated that we need to change our mindset to develop our abilities; “As long as we are in our comfort zone, our abilities do not develop. We need to step out of our comfort zone. Comfortable people therefore also fear the future and are generally dependent individuals. They rent their minds to others. Therefore, if you want to individuate and be free, you must be both attached to your family and autonomous. This balance needs to be achieved. You must be both attached to the society you live in and free. A person who can achieve this balance can be the person of this era. Otherwise, a system of thought that surrenders its mind to a leader and believes whatever they say is true is condemned to the dustbin of history. In this era, we can only be used; we can be objects, not subjects, of innovations. Therefore, to develop our abilities, we need to change this way of thinking. 'How do I gain self-confidence? What should I do when I start a job, how do I deal with the fear of failure? How should our young people think about this, what should they do?' Saying 'I want to increase my self-confidence, I want to do it' is already 50% success, development, and realizing the path. Social anxiety is high in our society. Culturally, we don't particularly like proactive, assertive people. Usually; it is said, 'The elder speaks, the younger keeps silent; you are a child, shut up, don't speak.' Whereas, they are the ones who should be speaking, asking, and learning. As a society, because we praise shy and demure individuals, we culturally foster social phobia and avoidant personality traits,” he said.
“There is a need for small successes”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan made evaluations on the subject that self-confidence increases with small successes. Tarhan; “When we look at individuals with low self-confidence, two very important fears emerge. The first is the fear of making mistakes. With this fear, the person prefers not to do anything at all when starting a task, fearing they will make a mistake and be embarrassed. In fact, by not taking a step, that person makes the mistake of doing nothing. That is a bigger mistake. These individuals will initially keep their goals small and set small targets. There is a need for small successes. Self-confidence increases with small successes, and they will progress in this way. There are always negative mental ruminations; they keep repeating the negative subject as if ruminating mentally. We try to make these individuals think about positive alternatives. When faced with an event, the brain first perceives it negatively; one immediately needs to look at the issue from a positive perspective. We try to help these individuals gain the skill of attributing positive meaning, positive interpretation, and thinking positively immediately after negative thoughts. When they acquire this and start thinking positively, events no longer control them; they start controlling the events. In this situation, they also overcome their social anxiety.” he said.
“Life is like riding a bicycle”
Tarhan, stating that one should aim for small successes and reward oneself from time to time; “Everything but death has a cure. Work, search, find. It is my duty to make every effort for its treatment, but whether I will get a result or not, I cannot know. Showing effort or not is under my control, but getting a result or not is not. If you confidently say, 'I will cure you,' you might stumble, but if you say, 'I will do everything in my power to cure you,' you will neither be embarrassed nor will your effort and endeavor be perceived as more sincere. Otherwise, you would have made a promise about something you cannot control. Therefore, in life, there are things a person has the power to do, and things they do not. There are things you can control, and things you cannot, but to be able to distinguish this, God has given you reason and judgment. If one uses their judgment and finds this balance, there will be no mistakes. Life is like riding a bicycle. If you go too slow sometimes, you fall; if you go too fast, you might tumble, but continuous dynamism is needed. Therefore, one should do nothing, never look back at the past, but look forward. Aim for small successes. Reward yourself from time to time. When you achieve something, say, 'I did this so well, good for me.' Because if one always punishes oneself like this, there is a 'nafs' (ego/self) in human beings. The nafs can always derail a person by saying, 'Oh, forget it, just live your life, why bother?'” he stated.
“What increases future anxiety is uncertainty”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan made evaluations on the subject that exam anxiety is also a type of future anxiety. Tarhan; “Future anxiety is a very human anxiety and unique to humans. Among young people, there is an anxiety like; 'Will I get into a good school in the future, will I pass this exam?' But now, it is process-oriented, not result-oriented. If one thinks in a result-oriented way like 'Will I win or not, will I succeed or not?', anxiety increases because the result is something one cannot control. It is something beyond one's power, but the process is something one can control. What is the process? Going to the exam on time, getting a good night's sleep, focusing on this within the last 24 hours. The number of correct answers one got in past tests is already roughly known. If one remains calm during the exam, they will repeat their previous success there. Therefore, if one tires their brain in such situations by being result-oriented, anxiety, i.e., exam anxiety, arises. Exam anxiety is also a type of future anxiety. If one plans for the future based on the score they will get after the exam, what increases future anxiety is uncertainty. If there is no uncertainty, if one has set a goal and drawn a roadmap, when there is exam/future anxiety; one should immediately change the subject by saying, 'I thought about this before, I set my goal, I drew my roadmap for it, so there's no need to think about it again.' Also, hope is very important in future anxiety.” he said.
“If they see the exam as a life-or-death struggle, anxiety increases”
Tarhan, stating that one should not be afraid at all if there is good intention and diligent effort; “The meaning attributed to this exam is very important. If they see the exam as a life-or-death struggle, anxiety increases, but this is one of the steps of success while progressing on the path of life. If one passes this step now, there is no problem; if not, they can try again and again. Abraham Lincoln, one of the US presidents, was elected on his 19th candidacy. He was a candidate 18 times and was elected on the 19th. There is even an example of a kingdom in England related to this. England's civil wars are famous, during the Middle Ages. In one of those civil wars, the army of one of the royal candidates was scattered. He took refuge in a cave alone with a helper. While contemplating suicide, he saw a spider on the wall. The spider had jumped 7 times just to make one side of its web. He said, 'If a spider jumped 7 times to make one side of its web, why should I fall into despair here?' The whole point here is with good intentions, this is a sacred hadith; 'If you have good intentions and diligent effort, I am your completer.' Therefore, if there is good intention and diligent effort, there is no need to fear at all. We should say 'Ya Allah' (Oh God) and continue our journey, progress. In such situations, there is at least a Plan A, if not a Plan B, or Plan C. In fact, one day, there was a manic patient. I asked, 'Do you have a Plan B?' He said, 'Teacher, I even have a Plan Z.' Even if not that many, we should have a few plans.” he said.