Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, participated in a seminar organized in cooperation with Silivri District Directorate of National Education, Silivri Guidance and Research Center (RAM), and Üsküdar Üniversitesi. He offered advice to psychological counselors and guidance teachers under the title of “Psychological Resilience and Motivation.” Emphasizing that the greatest psychological need of students in adolescence is the need to be understood, Tarhan drew attention to the importance of psychological resilience for guidance counselors. Tarhan also underlined that guidance counselors play a significant role in raising virtuous individuals.
The online seminar was moderated by Hatice Ada, Clinical Psychologist and Assistant of Educational Institutions and Guidance Services at Üsküdar Üniversitesi.
“Early adolescences are very common…”
Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the greatest psychological need of students in adolescence is the need to be understood; “Psychological resilience is very important, especially for psychological counselors and guidance teachers. They are facing a young audience. Their target group is primarily students. The greatest psychological need of a student in adolescence is the need to be understood. Because of this need for understanding, the individual asks questions like, ‘Who am I? Where should I go? Why?’ Adolescence, regardless of gender, generally occurs between the ages of 12-19, and by 22, adolescence transitions into maturity. Currently, with the influence of the times, early adolescences are very common. The family is an important actor here. The family needs to guide the child in this regard. Young people who grow up healthy go through this period more smoothly. If childhood traumas are few and they grew up in a safe family environment, they experience it more comfortably. Some children, due to their biological nature and genetic makeup, experience a stormier adolescence. In fact, some schools of psychology refer to adolescence as a normal schizophrenic period. In other words, an adolescent behaving like a schizophrenic or bipolar person is not really surprising. Perhaps they need to behave that way. That's how they learn about life. They will learn by questioning. An adolescent who says, ‘Don’t ask, don’t think, obey!’ is closed to development. Socrates has a famous saying, ‘An unexamined life is not worth living.’ Socrates said this 3,000 years ago, and now all adolescents are saying it. We are not in an era that demands obedience. Young people question like an Ibn Sina or a Socrates. Therefore, we cannot give a classic answer. We cannot say, ‘I saw my parents do this, why are you behaving like this?’ In other words, we will give new answers to old questions. This also applies to adolescence. Let’s be aware that this is a stormy period and an age for gang formation.” he began his words.
“Guidance counselors play an important role in raising virtuous individuals”
Tarhan, explaining the importance of raising a virtuous person, said; “In our approach to adolescents, our guidance counselors have a more important duty than raising academics for Turkey’s future. It is to raise quality, good, virtuous individuals. That is, if you don't raise a virtuous person, they become an engineer and turn into a hacker. They become a chemical engineer and produce synthetic marijuana. They become a doctor and form a newborn baby trafficking ring. Guidance counselors play an important role in raising virtuous individuals.”
“Those who cannot manage their own narcissism cannot be useful to others”
Tarhan underlined that guidance counselors should be at peace with themselves; “In positive psychology practices, psychological resilience is taught first. If we first solve the problems within ourselves, it becomes easier to solve the problems outside ourselves. We need to start changing the world with ourselves. As psychological counselors and guidance teachers, you have a role for students. If you are at peace with yourselves, you will perform this role better. I should approach it as if there are no problems with ourselves, but with others. This applies to all of us. We need to know ourselves and manage our own narcissism. Those who cannot manage or educate their own narcissism cannot be useful to others.”
“Instead of confronting and correcting them, we need to take them by our side and walk together”
Tarhan explained how communication should be during adolescence; “It is very important to be able to embrace people socially. Especially in our relationships with adolescents, instead of confronting and correcting them, we need to take them by our side and walk together. Today's youth have an ‘I know everything’ attitude. This is the nature of adolescence. The most important point our teachers should pay attention to here is motivation. If you break a student’s motivation after they ask a question in class, they will never ask another question. They will bottle it up. Here, we will ask questions and guide them. If we do this, students will learn about life. Some bottle things up, resorting to avoidance. Some behave more riskily. Since our culture glorifies obedience, a person who does not question cannot develop. Children need to think analytically and critically. A child who does not think analytically and critically cannot develop themselves. They cannot direct themselves towards their goals. Only something that imitates the existing emerges. However, people who create differences and can do extraordinary things can survive in this era. Because this era consumes everything rapidly.”
“We need to question our child-rearing model”
Tarhan stated that children are currently the leaders of the household; “Our parenting styles have changed. A hedonistic generation is currently growing up, and parents are not aware of this. They say, ‘We suffered, our children shouldn’t.’ Currently, the child is the leader of the house, and the parents are slaves. The child has become the boss of the house. Such a generation is growing up now. We have become a child-centric society. This is very dangerous. Parents are now insufficient in transmitting values. Social media is doing the value transmission. To prevent social media from doing this, we need an education system, starting from kindergarten, where value transmission is done for the first 3 years, not by parents. If done now, we will see its benefits in 10-15 years. It can be done and taught very easily. Due to 'day-saving' policies, these are always neglected. We should aim for the child's best interest, but this does not mean spoiling the child. When we say the child's best interest, we need to focus on raising them well. In other words, raising a good child is no less important than building a good factory. If you raise a good child, you don't need to leave them an inheritance; they will save themselves. If you haven't raised a good child, the inheritance you leave is worthless. Therefore, we need to question our child-rearing model.”
“The most important source of intrinsic motivation is purpose”
Tarhan touched upon the concepts of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation; “Extrinsic motivation, like a sailboat, always depends on the wind, but intrinsic motivation is like a steamship. It manages itself, control is with it. In the other, control is more with the wind. Intrinsic motivation is more valuable than extrinsic motivation. We say that the wind makes the kite fly. However, the wind does not make the kite fly. It is the position the kite takes against the wind that makes it fly. In the wrong position, it tumbles head over heels. This is intrinsic motivation. When it takes the right position against external events, it leads to the goal. Therefore, taking a position against life events provides intrinsic motivation. The most important source of intrinsic motivation is purpose. Intrinsic motivation actually means being able to correctly manage our internal resources. It means being able to correctly manage our internal capital, our psychological capital. Those rich in love capital are fortunate. If these individuals manage love well, their power of positive influence is greater. Those who are miserly with love, whose faces don't smile, who never use words of appreciation or praise for anyone, are already not at peace with their inner selves.” he said.
Life events can turn into opportunities…
Tarhan reminded that one should not fall into pessimism in the face of life events; “The current modern teaching tells us that having a house and a car is enough as a goal. It teaches no high goals, no high ideals. Our education system also does not provide this. In teaching purpose, we attach more importance to opportunity education. In positive psychology practices, meaning and purpose are also very important. We need to open a window in their minds with meaning and purpose. After that, an event or a difficulty occurs in their lives. Instead of falling into despair and pessimism in that event, they transform it into a trauma that develops themselves by using it as a stepping stone. They turn the experienced life event into an opportunity. The generation currently growing up has been raised in comfort. They obtained everything easily. They tend to be comfort-seeking and self-centered. However, the new generations are very endearing. They are digital generations. Their feelings of innocence and expectations of justice are high. Therefore, there is no need to be pessimistic.”
“Social media is the medium students are most influenced by”
Tarhan touched upon the effects of social media on young people; “Social media is the medium students are most influenced by. Neither family nor school can transmit knowledge, culture, or virtue. Social media does this very well. It hypnotizes young people. They fall under the influence of role models. Among children involved in crime, children who use social media for more than 4 hours a day are 50% more likely to become victims of social media. Social media has such a danger. Exposing oneself on social media is perceived as strength. There is a life philosophy focused on being strong. Social media figures can influence us, but we need to teach them to think in the medium to long term. They might not believe it at that moment, but it will remain in the back of their minds. Later, when the time comes, those seeds we planted might sprout.” he concluded his words.