Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan was the guest of the ‘Father School’ Seminars organized by the Directorate General of Religious Services, Department of Family and Religious Guidance, to strengthen family awareness based on the Quran and Sunnah, and to highlight the importance of fathers in terms of rights and responsibilities in the family. Tarhan drew attention to the changes in family structure with modernism, stating that modernism, by presenting the nuclear family as a model, virtually committed 'harakiri'. Emphasizing the importance of the father's role, Tarhan stated, ‘A father should be a leader, not a boss, at home.’
Personnel from Family and Religious Guidance Offices/Centers from all provincial and district muftiates also participated online in the program held at the Presidency of Religious Affairs.
The opening speech of the program, which began with a recitation of the Holy Quran, was delivered by Dr. Şaban Kondi, Director General of Religious Services. On the occasion of the 100th anniversary of our Republic, Kondi expressed wishes for peace and tranquility for our country and humanity, stating, “We are deeply saddened by the oppression and human tragedy unfolding before the eyes of the entire world in Palestine. I pray to my Lord for the safety and salvation of Muslims.” Addressing the material and spiritual responsibilities of being a father, Kondi noted that the father school project is being followed with great interest across the country.
Following Dr. Şaban Kondi's speech, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan delivered a conference titled ‘The Role of the Father in a Child's Identity and Personality Development’ at the highly attended program.
3 parameters that build psychology…
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, Founding Rector of Üsküdar University, drawing attention to how family relationships are also greatly affected in a changing world, stated that there are 3 parameters that build human psychology. Tarhan expressed these as ‘Mind, Brain, Culture’. Tarhan noted that while cultural transmission was previously carried out by elders; grandmothers, grandfathers… – today it is done by media and digital media.
Modernism commits harakiri…
Emphasizing significant changes in family structure with modernism, Tarhan stated that there is an increase in single-person households and single-parent families worldwide. Tarhan drew attention to the increase in the number of fragile households with the decrease in household size. Tarhan stated that modernism, by presenting the nuclear family as a model, damages the family and that modernism virtually committed 'harakiri'. He noted that while the number of marriages in Turkey increased by 1.6 percent between 2001 and 2018, the divorce rate rose by 54.8 percent in the same years.
Virtues like love, respect, and consistency are a child's nourishment
Tarhan stated that virtues like love, respect, and consistency are a child's nourishment, emphasizing that children who have positive relationships with their parents, are accepted by their father, listened to, taken seriously, and honored will develop a healthy identity and personality. Tarhan continued his speech as follows:
“A child wants their own life to have meaning, to be part of a greater and important meaning. They mostly learn from their father what they will spend their life on and for what purpose. We must not forget that our actions, more than our words, leave a lasting impact on children's lives. A father should be a leader, not a boss, at home. A leader does not herd their family but guides them; does not frighten but inspires desire; does not expect praise but praises; does not expect love but loves.”
Not everything children want is done, but everything they say is listened to…
Stating that being a good scientist, a good businessperson, or a good spouse is not enough and one also needs to be a good father, Tarhan emphasized the importance of the relationship between parents in child-rearing. Tarhan said, “For a home to become a safe and warm space, it must have rules. Lack of rules brings uncertainty. This situation triggers anxiety. A home with love and discipline is very important for our children's development. Not everything our children want is done, but everything they say should be listened to. It should not be forgotten that in father-child conflicts, the adults are the ones who lose. The most beautiful gift a father can give his child is to love their mother.” With these words, he concluded his presentation.
At the end of the conference, Director General Dr. Şaban Kondi presented a gift to Nevzat Tarhan and expressed his thanks.