Üsküdar University Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, was a live guest on TRT Haber's "Birinci Sayfa" (First Page) program. Tarhan made striking remarks regarding the discussions on "Banning Social Media for Under 16s". Stating that digital platforms are a part of young people's daily lives, Tarhan underlined that digital media primarily harms families without rules. Drawing attention to global capital's plans concerning the family, Tarhan stated that efforts on family issues are as important as the function of the Ministry of National Defense in the medium to long term.
Digital platforms are a part of their daily lives…
Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that parents should use dialogue instead of monologue; “Young people are natives of the digital world. A certain generation is like a kind of immigrant to it. We learn later. Because they were born into this technology. In such a situation, the digital world has become their learning model. Digital platforms are a part of their daily lives. It is very important for adults to accept this. If they accept it, it becomes easier to establish a relationship. Children born after 1990, growing up in the digital world, are more skilled in this regard. For example, when a parent talks to their child about a topic and says, ‘You know more about this, show me that thing on the computer, how should we do this?’, the child starts to engage in dialogue with the parent. Monologue-style approaches create distance between parents and children. Dialogue is important. That is, when parents approach with a ‘This didn’t exist in our time’ attitude, the child easily says, ‘Mom, you wouldn’t understand.’ The influence of the mother and father on the child weakens. Therefore, the authoritarian parenting model is no longer valid. It is necessary to establish a horizontal relationship with the child. That is, to embark on a digital journey with the child and talk to them there. To enter their area of interest, to move within their world. Young people are easily protected from many problems if they interact with the digital world under parental supervision,” he began.
“Digital entered between generations”
Tarhan stated that parents who succeed in acting together with young people can establish healthier relationships; “There are two classic topics in Egyptian Papyri and Hittite tablets. One is generational conflict, and the other is the mother-in-law problem. There is information about these topics in tablets. It never changes. This is a universal truth. Digital has entered between generations. Previously, the half-life of information was 30 years, now it has fallen to 3 years. Even more. In such situations, parents who manage to act together with young people establish healthier relationships. For example, if a parent spent half an hour with their child 50 years ago, now they have to spend an hour. Another issue varies by age group. For example, it’s different for the 0-6 age group, different for the 6-13 age group. We need to approach those over 13 differently. In fact, there is a saying by Hz. Ali (Imam Ali) that is very relevant to this time: ‘Play with your children until they are 5, be friends with them until they are 15. After 15, consult with them.’ Consultation is with those who know better. Doing this is not spoiling children. It should not be perceived this way. It is important to be able to act with children according to their interests,” he used the expressions.
“Digital media harms families without rules the most”
Emphasizing the importance of the balance between freedom and responsibility in the family, Tarhan said; “The home should become a lovable place in the family. It should be a home where everyone can come running, lovingly, where there is conversation, sharing, and a warm atmosphere. It is necessary to make the home a regulated environment. Digital media harms families without rules the most. In other words, we experience the most problems in families that cannot establish the balance between freedom and responsibility. The child does not know where to stop. In fact, there is a wrong teaching brought by modernism. This teaching says, ‘Leave the child free, let them be an individual.’ Saying this means spoiling the child,” he commented.
“True democracy starts in the family”
Underlining the importance of true democracy in the family, Tarhan said; “Democracy is not just a form of government, but also a value. One must live democracy as a value, as a culture, in their home, family, and school. In fact, we have made this into four mottos. First, criticizability. That is, accountability. Second, liberalism. The opposite of liberalism is authoritarianism, oppression, despotism. The other is pluralism. The opposite of pluralism is totalitarianism. Like saying, ‘Everyone should dress like me. Everyone in this house should be a Fenerbahçe fan.’ The last is participation. Making decisions together. In other words, if parents display an attitude like ‘I know best, whatever I say goes,’ there is no democracy there. This means that democracy is not acting irresponsibly and without limits. It is a regulated environment. If you don’t obey those rules, there is a consequence. Raising a child who does not experience the natural consequence of their behavior is not democratic. Democracy teaches the limits of life. If our goal is justice, the method is democracy. We understand democracy only as freedom. True democracy starts in the family,” he said.
“Those negatively affected by daytime programs come to us…”
Stating that daytime programs normalize evil, Tarhan said; “Those negatively affected by daytime programs come to us. They say these programs are made to raise awareness of evil. This is their defense. That is, it's like this: efforts to raise awareness about theft, lying, whose hand is in whose pocket, and infidelity create insensitivity to evil. Insensitivity to evil becomes the normalization of evil. Daytime programs create serious negative effects. When I say this, the advertising departments of TV channels get angry with me. But our children are in great danger and at risk. That's why they are being poisoned. We need to know this. Currently, the Ministry of Family has become more important than the Ministry of Defense. It is the victory of parents to raise a child useful to the country. If we cannot raise a good child, all the factories we establish are secondary…” he continued his words.
Future generations are under serious threat…
Stating that minds are occupied as a result of cultural imperialism, Tarhan said; “The place where values are still alive in the world is the family, but if it continues like this, in 20, 30 years, we will be like Sweden and Norway. That is, currently the rate of out-of-wedlock births in Turkey is 2.9 percent. In countries like Sweden, Norway, and Finland, it is around 56 percent. 56 out of 100 babies born are born out of wedlock. It is 2.9 percent in Turkey, but this also carries a serious risk of increasing. Therefore, future generations are under serious threat. Because previously the family transferred culture, but now the media transfers culture. Currently, the media is a serious global actor. Most of the content producers in the media are Hollywood-origin. There is cultural imperialism currently. That is, our minds are occupied. Especially concerning family. There is a global capital plan that wants to reduce marriage to decrease the world population. For this reason, studies on family issues are at a point as important as the function of the Ministry of National Defense in the medium to long term.”
“Children need to be guided without exclusion”
Mentioning some measures taken to protect children, Tarhan said; “It is not only about intervening in social media platforms, but also special software is being developed for smartphones. Software that parents can be aware of. When that software is on the child's phone, if the child enters a wrong area, a message drops to the parent's phone. So these also need to be considered. There is no need to rediscover America for this. In the USA, child psychiatrists and adolescent psychiatrists are seriously crying out about this right now. Cases have increased a lot. In fact, they increased even more after the pandemic. To prevent this, children need to be guided through the digital world without excluding them. Here, there is definitely a great need for the leaders of the state on this matter,” he concluded his words.