In the panel held within the scope of the Youth and Family Workshop, of which Kayseri Metropolitan Municipality and Kayseri Governorship are stakeholders, Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, gave a speech titled "Youth in a Changing World". Noting that a safe, loving, and attractive environment should be created for children at home, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated, "When we make the home a warm environment, even if they fall into addiction, they recover. If the home is not a warm environment, healthy children do not grow up. If the home makes one feel safe, it becomes a refuge. If you raise a child with intimidation, trust decreases, and fear increases."
A home that makes one feel safe becomes warm and a refuge…
The 'Youth and Family Workshop', with Kayseri Metropolitan Municipality, Kayseri Governorship, Talas Municipality, Erciyes University, Kayseri University, and Cihannüma Solidarity Association Kayseri Provincial Representation as stakeholders, was held at Kayseri University Congress and Culture Center. In his speech titled "Youth in a Changing World", Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, addressed the risks facing today's youth and drew attention to the duties of families and parents.
We are late to address the family issue
Stating that the negative consequences of events related to family will emerge 10-20 years later, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "We are late to realize and address the family issue, but it's still a gain wherever we start. There are things to be done. Our culture is very suitable for solving problems. A study was conducted in America covering the years 1950 to 2000. This research analyzed both the happiness level and per capita income. From the 50s to the 2000s, income rose from 20 thousand dollars to 35 thousand dollars, but happiness levels decreased in the opposite direction. Following this, Americans said that money cannot buy happiness. In our culture, it is expressed as 'money cannot buy happiness'."
Marriage rates decreased, divorces increased
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan pointed out that while the number of marriages in Turkey was 544 thousand in 2001, it decreased to 533 thousand in 2018, and continued his words as follows:
"However, divorce rates increased by 54.8 percent during the same period. The marriage rate fell far behind the divorce rate. The family structure became more fragile. According to statistics, between 1994 and 2006, the number of single-person households in Turkey increased, while the number of five-person households decreased. Looking at Europe, it is possible to see a high rate of out-of-wedlock births. For example, rates such as 59.7 percent in France, 56 percent in Sweden and Norway, 69 percent in Iceland, 52 percent in Portugal, 50 percent in the Netherlands, and 2.9 percent in Turkey emerged. Following these results in France, 'parent 1' and 'parent 2' began to be written on children's identity documents instead of mother's and father's names. The Western culture we admire is in such a situation, and they chose it to be this way."
Europe has more shelters
Stating that the number of shelters in Turkey is quite low, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "In Sweden, there are over a thousand shelters for women. They do not require any documents; since declaration is the basis, they immediately accept and accommodate them. At the same time, laws protecting children have also been enacted. Children who experience verbal or physical violence from their parents are removed from the family and taken under state protection."
Narcissism pandemic has begun
Noting that such an era of elevated egocentrism and worldliness has never been experienced in human history, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "The narcissism pandemic has begun. We can say it has started in our country too. Selfishness and ego wars are the biggest reasons for this. The weakest point of people with high egos is their inability to collaborate. Currently, the biggest social problem in the West is loneliness. As loneliness increases, unhappiness and suicides increase, turning this into an epidemic."
It is necessary to raise intelligent, diligent, and benevolent people
Emphasizing that if a child in a family raised with fear, threats, and coercion feels like they are going to court and will be interrogated when coming home, there is no happiness in that home, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "The home ceases to be a warm environment. When we make the home a warm environment, even if they fall into addiction, they recover. If the home is not a warm environment, healthy children do not grow up. Raising intelligent and diligent children in a family is not enough; they must also be raised as benevolent people. If we, as parents and the education system, do not place the raising of benevolent people at the top of the goal pyramid, we will get nowhere; we will only be 'pretending'."
The home needs to provide a sense of security
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that a warm family environment means the home is attractive, adding, "For the home to be this way, the child needs to feel safe at home. We used to call the family a nest of love. The family is a nest of trust, not love. If the home makes one feel safe, it becomes a refuge. For it to be safe, if you raise a child with intimidation, trust decreases, and fear increases. Outside, there are many temptations and distractions. In the past, there were many protectors in the immediate vicinity, but it is not like that now."
Not advice, but beautiful memories are educational and lasting…
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan underlined that for a family to be happy, family members must spend time together, and especially parents must dedicate more time to their children. Tarhan stated that beautiful memories a child shares with their family are more educational and contain lasting information than advice. He also noted that another characteristic of a happy family is the use of words of appreciation, approval, and praise.
In the panel moderated by Kayseri University Rector Prof. Dr. Kurtuluş Karamustafa, İzmir Katip Çelebi University Rector Prof. Dr. Saffet Köse spoke on 'Modernity and Family', Prof. Dr. Orhan Koçak on 'Technology Addiction and Youth', and Dr. Şöhret Karaduman on 'Family, Morality, and the Corruption of Values'.