Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan states that shopping is a pleasurable activity and emphasizes the need to strike a balance between the desire to shop and actual needs. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan also notes that if one spouse in a marriage poorly manages their budget, it can set a negative example for children, warning, “A mother or father with this model sets a wrong example for the child. If a child chooses a parent who doesn't know how to budget and spends money uncontrollably as a role model, they might become spoiled and selfish in the future. Both the mother and father need to establish consistent discipline.”
Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, made important evaluations and recommendations regarding shopping addiction on the AKRA FM Marriage School program.
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that shopping addiction can lead to various problems in a person's private life, noting that its presence in one of the partners, especially in marriages, causes various issues.
A balance must be struck between the desire to shop and needs
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that while shopping gives pleasure, a balance must be established between the desire to shop and actual needs, emphasizing that this balance should be learned from childhood. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan also highlighted the importance of learning financial literacy, saying, “Many countries provide financial literacy education. Someone who receives financial literacy education learns many key points such as budget and resource management. It is important to use your money and resources wisely.”
Controlled spending of money is learned in childhood…
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that controlled spending of money should be learned starting from childhood, adding, “Individuals who grow up in easy conditions and easily acquire everything often struggle with managing money or resources. They cannot manage their budget well. They spend their money easily without thinking.”
Short and medium-term goals should be set in the family
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that the word 'iktisat' (economics) means to economize, that is, to manage the economy, the budget. He said, “It comes from the root 'maksat' (purpose). If a person has a purpose, they invest accordingly. Therefore, the most important point of resource management is to set a goal, to act purposefully. For this reason, setting goals in the family should be a priority. Do we have a goal at home? For example, if our house is rented, there should be goals like getting rid of it or making an investment, and targets should be set. Having short and medium-term goals is important. One should act by saying, 'We need to set aside this much money this month.' When a person feels the desire to shop or spend money, they should give up this desire by thinking, 'I want to buy this, but it's not an urgent need right now, or I have something similar at home.'”
3 symptoms of shopping addiction!
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that three main symptoms are observed in people with shopping addiction, listing them as 'impulse control disorder, Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder, and hyperactivity.' Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “These individuals cannot control their desires, impulses, or urges. Prolonged adolescence is also observed in some individuals.”
If there is a spouse with shopping addiction, budget management should be addressed
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that a person whose spouse has shopping addiction can verbally warn their spouse. He added, “If this is not effective, a written warning is necessary. The household budget must be managed by the spouse. A plan should be made for this. Control must be established by saying, 'This much money enters the household budget. These are our expenses. I will manage the household budget.'” Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the next stage after a written warning is a behavioral warning, emphasizing, “It is important to take a stand here and not approve of the incorrect action.”
A wrong role model can be set for the child
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that if one of the spouses does not manage their budget well, it can also set a negative example for children. He said, “A mother or father with this model sets a wrong example for the child. If a child chooses a parent who doesn't know how to budget and spends money uncontrollably as a role model, they might become spoiled and selfish in the future. A child chooses what they like; this is a child's nature. If the mother is disciplinary and the father is lenient, or vice versa, the child will choose lenient discipline. Both the mother and father need to establish consistent discipline. Strict discipline will also be harmful. Authoritarianism backfires, and lenient discipline also leads to losses. Life is a rule-bound environment.”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that addiction is a dysfunction of the brain's control center. He said, “The person cannot achieve impulse and pleasure control here. Why does a person shop? When they shop to reduce stress, it becomes a pleasure. They get upset about something, get angry at someone, go shopping, and feel relieved.”
The 85/15 rule should be followed
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that in resource management, the goal should be to grow the resource. He added, “It's the same in human and time management. There is an 85/15 rule. It's taught in entrepreneurship training; according to this rule, if a person dedicates 85 minutes to the work they are doing, they should dedicate 15 minutes to thinking about the work they are doing. For example, a person works all day, rushes around, and is thought to be working hard. However, that is not really working hard. They work, but according to this rule, they spend 15 minutes out of 100 minutes thinking about the work they are doing and can self-criticize. In such situations, people who adhere to this rule gain vision after a while. They have future projections; that is, their strategic goals are clear, their purposes are clear, and they make their investments and strategic accumulations accordingly.”
Common justice is ensured in fair sharing
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan emphasized the importance of being able to make fair sharing in resource management. Prof. Dr. Tarhan said, “Fair sharing is important in this respect: if there is a purpose when managing money and your purpose is clear, you make fair sharing accordingly. In that case, common justice can be ensured in fair sharing, but if there is no common purpose, common justice cannot be ensured. If there is unity in goals, there can also be unity in methods. Therefore, for justice to be established, it is essential for a person's goal to be correct.
A strategic goal is a person's ego ideal
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that strategic thinking and goal setting are very important in daily life. He said, “A strategic goal is a person's ego ideal. Therefore, it is important for a person to have a vision. In quality management, businesses' vision, mission, and quality values are determined, and the company proceeds in that direction. This is time management, resource management. This also applies to budget management. The importance of management in raising good children is also significant. Raising a human being is much more important than becoming a manager somewhere. To raise a child in the best way, you must allocate your time capital to the child, be an example instead of giving advice, and offer options instead of giving orders to the child.”