A report compiled from the minutes and presentations of the Sub-Commission for the Investigation of Peer Bullying in Primary and Secondary Education Institutions and the Determination of Measures to be Taken, established within the Turkish Grand National Assembly Petition Commission, revealed the extent of bullying among children.
The study, which utilized commission minutes, presentations from the Ministry of Family and Social Services Directorate General of Children's Services, the Information and Communication Technologies Authority (BTK), and data from TÜİK's Türkiye Children Survey, addressed both traditional peer bullying and the growing risk of cyberbullying.
Approximately 14 out of every 100 children are subjected to bullying
According to the report, 13.8% of children aged 6-17 are subjected to bullying by their peers. The most common form of bullying is teasing. While 7.2% of children are deliberately excluded from social groups, the rate of those exposed to physical violence is reported to be approximately 4.4%.
The situation becomes even more severe for children with functional difficulties. The rate of bullying among children experiencing difficulties in areas such as vision, hearing, walking, learning, communicating, or self-care rises to approximately 27%.
Prof. Tarhan: “Not every child conflict is bullying”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that peer bullying should not be confused with ordinary disagreements among children, said, “First, it is necessary to correctly define bullying. Children and adolescents may argue, fight from time to time, and reconcile after a while. It is not correct to evaluate every argument, every raised voice, or every disagreement among children as peer bullying. For a behavior to be defined as bullying, it must be intentional, repetitive, and there must be an imbalance of power between the parties. If there is a planned, systematic behavior aimed at oppressing, intimidating, or excluding the other party, then we talk about bullying.”
Emphasizing that bullying is not just about physical violence, Prof. Tarhan stated, “In addition to verbal behaviors such as teasing, name-calling, insults, and threats, there are also relational forms of bullying such as spreading rumors, excluding from a group, and deliberately isolating.”
“A child often does not say ‘I am being bullied’”
Prof. Tarhan stated that families and teachers need to observe changes in a child's behavior well to detect bullying, adding that the child may not directly describe what they are experiencing.
Prof. Tarhan said, “A child often does not come and say, ‘I am being bullied.’ Especially if they are afraid of being criticized, blamed, or told ‘You should have fought back,’ they may internalize their experiences. If a child who previously loved going to school no longer wants to go, develops complaints like stomachaches or headaches in the mornings, if their academic performance drops, if they withdraw into themselves, distance themselves from friends, start to confine themselves to their room, or if their sleep and appetite patterns change, then it is necessary to look into the background. Sometimes we see peer bullying behind school refusal.”
Emphasizing that the child should be listened to rather than questioned, Prof. Tarhan said, “Instead of cornering the child in front of everyone by asking, ‘Why aren't you talking, what happened to you?’, one should talk to them individually and ask, ‘Is there anything I can do for you, would you like to talk about it?’ The way to get a child to talk is not to lecture them, but to establish a horizontal relationship and truly listen to them.”
A child who is different can more easily become a target
Evaluating the increase in the bullying rate to approximately 27% among children with functional difficulties in the report, Prof. Tarhan pointed out that differences can easily become targets in a school environment.
“We see that children who are gifted, struggle with social communication, or have difficulty adapting to team relationships can be subjected to more bullying,” said Prof. Tarhan, stating that even a child with high academic intelligence might struggle to read social cues.
Prof. Tarhan said, “When they don't react in the same way as other children, they are first seen as different, then they can become the subject of teasing, and the process can turn into bullying. Academic intelligence and social-emotional skills do not always develop at the same rate. Therefore, instead of simply labeling a child as ‘shy’, ‘unadaptable’, or ‘weird’, it is necessary to evaluate them in terms of their social communication skills.”
“I am strong, they are vulnerable; therefore I can crush them”
Prof. Tarhan noted that at the core of bullying there is often a false perception of power, stating, “At the root of bullying, there is often a misguided relationship based on power: ‘I am strong, they are vulnerable; therefore I can crush them.’ In environments where empathy and compassion are weakened, a child who is different more easily becomes a target. Another important problem is that silent students become invisible. Bullying is not just the problem of the bully and the victim; it is a school climate problem that concerns the entire class.”
Prof. Tarhan, stating that significant responsibility falls on the teacher at this point, emphasized that the teacher should be the leader of the class, adding, “A good teacher knows the students in their class; they notice those who fall behind, those who become silent, and those who are excluded. But they do this not by exposing the child in front of everyone, but by establishing one-on-one and empathic communication.”
“Don't just brand the child who bullies as a ‘bad child’”
“The child who bullies should also not just be branded as a ‘bad child’,” said Prof. Tarhan, adding, “Every act of violence is also a message. It is necessary to look at which emotional needs of the child are not being met, what kind of communication they experience in the family, and whether they feel worthless.”
Prof. Tarhan stated that in families where there is little love and much pressure and criticism, a child can learn violence as a problem-solving method, adding, “The absence of a warm environment in the family can pave the way for both being an perpetrator and a victim.”
In cyberbullying, the “safe space” disappears
One of the striking topics of the report was the shift of bullying outside of school with digitalization. Cyberbullying is defined in the report as targeting children psychologically and socially through threats, harassment, teasing, defamation, cyber blackmail, and privacy violations via digital platforms.
Prof. Tarhan stated that social media has expanded the “audience” for bullying, adding, “While an act of teasing or exclusion seen by a few people used to remain within a limited circle, today, with the viral effect of social media, it can reach tens, hundreds, or even many more people.”
“In cyberbullying, the school gate doesn't close”
Tarhan, pointing out that one of the most significant differences between cyberbullying and face-to-face bullying is its continuity, used the following expressions:
“Face-to-face bullying mostly occurs in a specific physical environment. When a child leaves school, they can return to their safe space to a certain extent. In cyberbullying, the school gate doesn't close. Since the phone is in the child's pocket, threats, insults, exposure, and exclusion come home, even into the child's room. This situation can create a feeling in the victim that ‘there is no safe space I can escape to’.”
Tarhan noted that repeated sharing of a photo or video in the digital environment can perpetuate the traumatic effect, stating that school refusal, a decline in academic performance, withdrawal, depressive symptoms, and intense anxiety can be observed in children.
80% of children spend more than 3 hours a day on screens
The report indicates that approximately 80% of children spend more than three hours a day actively in front of digital screens. The report also states that excessive screen exposure is associated with concentration deficits and problems with transferring learned information to long-term memory.
Prof. Tarhan stated that uncontrolled usage can replace real relationships with virtual ones, adding, “I believe that social media sometimes has a toxic effect on peer relationships. In real peer relationships, there is face-to-face communication, physical contact, reading facial expressions, and observing the other person's joy and sadness. Empathy develops within these relationships. However, in screen-based relationships, a significant part of these disappears.”
“Digital anesthesia” warning
Prof. Tarhan, explaining long-term and aimless screen usage with the concept of “digital anesthesia,” said, “When a child goes in front of a screen, they can lose their perception of time and priorities. It is necessary to teach the child purposeful use, time management, and that the person on the other side in the digital environment is also a real human being with feelings. Teaching empathy is very valuable here; because a child who learns empathy is less inclined towards cyberbullying.”
Age limits for social media are on the agenda worldwide
The report also includes measures taken by different countries to protect children from digital risks. It is stated that in China, there are restrictions on children under 16 opening social media accounts without parental permission, night-time online gaming restrictions are applied to children under 16 in South Korea, and there are legal regulations regarding social media use by young children in Florida, USA. The report also contains information on regulatory discussions in Australia, Greece, and Ireland, as well as work on social network access for children under 13 in Türkiye.
“The goal should be a transition from external control to internal control”
Prof. Tarhan, stating that screen usage should be limited at young ages, said, “During adolescence, a purely prohibitive approach can often have a counterproductive effect. The child will still encounter the digital world in environments where parents are not present. If they have not developed internal control, they may turn to uncontrolled use as soon as the prohibition is lifted. Therefore, the goal should be a transition from external control to internal control.”
“Digital parenting is needed here,” said Tarhan, stating that parents should both set boundaries and explain the reason for them, and that children should be equipped with media literacy and conscious digital usage skills.
A notable concept in the report; “Peer kindness”
The concepts of “peer kindness” and “digital kindness” also stand out in the report's fight against bullying. It is stated that pilot implementations of the “Bullying-Free Program” are being carried out in cooperation with the Ministry of National Education and civil society, and peer-to-peer education programs are being conducted for the 12-13 age group. While experts are reported to want digital ethics rules to be included in the curriculum from the third grade of primary school, BTK is also stated to be carrying out studies aimed at transforming cyberbullying into “cyber kindness” and peer bullying into “peer kindness.”
“The way to combat the negative is to increase the positive”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan also drew attention to the importance of the concept of “peer kindness,” stating that it is not possible to solve bullying solely with a prohibitory and punitive approach. Tarhan said, “In the fight against peer bullying, merely trying to eliminate the negative is not enough. One of the most effective ways to combat the negative is to increase the positive. Therefore, ‘peer kindness’ must be placed against ‘peer bullying.’ Kindness includes empathy; it involves considering the rights, needs, and feelings of the other party. It's not just about understanding the other party, but also having the ability to solve problems without hurting them.”
“Technology provides speed, but values provide direction”
Tarhan, emphasizing that social and emotional education should not be left until adolescence to prevent bullying, said, “It is important to equip a child's character with a compass before simply loading them with information. Because technology provides speed, but values provide direction.”
Prof. Tarhan, stating that empathy is not an innate, unchangeable trait but a learnable skill, said, “Value education should not be thought of as merely an hour-long lesson once a week. It should be value-rich education. In mathematics, literature, history, and even science classes, justice, honesty, compassion, cooperation, and responsibility can be discussed through events. In this way, values cease to be theoretical knowledge and become a part of daily life.”
“The remedy for peer bullying is empathic communication”
Tarhan, stating that focusing solely on punishment after bullying has occurred is not enough, concluded his words as follows:
“The child who bullies should be made to see the consequences of their actions, understand what the victim feels, and take responsibility. Peer kindness should be put against peer bullying. The remedy for peer bullying is empathic communication. One of the common points of all malicious behaviors is a lack of empathy. If we develop a child's conscience, compassion, and capacity for empathy, we can prevent bullying before it even emerges, instead of chasing after it once it has occurred.”
