Kanal D’s “Sadakatsiz” series makes headlines with every episode and creates discussion with every scene. We’ve missed such quality productions. Most recently, a dialogue from the series became a hot topic in the media. Volkan, the main character of the series, said, “A person’s heart doesn’t just beat for one person; being married isn’t an obstacle to falling in love.” How troubled we were by this issue. I asked Psychiatrist Nevzat Tarhan about the week’s agenda and received very striking answers.
Mr. Nevzat, this scene is causing a stir; you are a neuropsychologist, and your commentary is important. Can a person love two people at the same time?
- The feeling of love is not innocent. A person cannot go to a jeweler and take all the gold by saying 'I love money very much'. You cannot break up a married person's relationship with their spouse and be with them just because you love them. Love is a raw emotion; it needs to be matured and transformed into affection. You can feel affection for two people at the same time. Of course, this applies to both men and women.
I'm confused. You said, 'The feeling of love is not innocent'; could you elaborate a little?
- Let me explain... Look, there is 'immature love' and 'mature love'. Mature love is beneficial, but primitive love is harmful. Love is like a wild horse. If you manage a wild horse well, it will serve you; if you don't, it will pull you in the wrong direction.
So, do you attribute loving two people to this?
- Yes, if you possess a wild emotion, you can love two people. You can even love five people.
Have you ever had such a case?
- I had a young patient. He came to me saying, 'I have three girlfriends'. He said he loved all three. I asked, 'Are you going to marry?' He replied, 'Doctor, I will marry one of them'. I was astonished.
When I asked, 'What about the others?', he said, 'Darwin's laws apply; the one I love more, the one I choose, will be with me'.
What was that young man's financial situation?
- He was the child of a very wealthy family. He used to meet his girlfriends on his own yacht.
THERE ARE PREDATOR MEN AND PREDATOR WOMEN
So, is financial status important in these types of relationships?
- There are predator men and predator women. Predator men offer romance, seeking eroticism. Predator women, on the other hand, offer eroticism, seeking romance. The female brain operates with a focus on romance.
Mr. Nevzat, I understand this from our conversation... It's possible to love more than one person, but you're saying it's a pathological emotion, right?
- Generally, personality disorder, narcissism... Such people love those who make them feel good and comfortable.
What do you say about the character Volkan in the series?
- We call these types 'prolonged adolescence'. The character in the series also likely has prolonged adolescence. These are individuals who don't understand marital maturity. The magic concept in marriage is loyalty. If you lack loyalty, you should not marry.
Source: Hürriyet Newspaper
News link: https://www.hurriyet.com.tr/yazarlar/orkun-un/meger-o-kuyruktakiler-figuranmis-41640228