Experts state that adab-ı muaşeret, defined as “self-discipline developed in individuals under the influence of the social control mechanism,” or etiquette rules, are important for ensuring social integrity, and point out that etiquette rules are a part of a person's identity. Experts, stating that some behaviors in society are also evaluated in terms of etiquette rules, note that behaviors such as chewing gum in public, eating and drinking to an extent that bothers everyone, sneezing with an open mouth in public places, and blowing one's nose loudly are not in accordance with adab-ı muaşeret.
Is chewing gum in line with adab-ı muaşeret?
Dr. Nihan Kalkandeler Özdin, Lecturer at the Department of Sociology, Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences (İTBF), Üsküdar Üniversitesi, made evaluations regarding adab-ı muaşeret, which is the most important part of the social control mechanism, or etiquette rules.
One should listen without interrupting each other!
Dr. Nihan Kalkandeler noted that adab-ı muaşeret can be defined as “self-discipline developed in individuals under the influence of the social control mechanism,” and added, “Based on this definition, examples of adab-ı muaşeret rules include listening without interrupting each other while communicating, respecting different opinions, thanking, greeting, knocking on the door and asking permission before entering someone else's room, observing table manners while sitting and eating at the table, keeping our home and environment clean, not spitting on the ground, and not littering.”
Dr. Nihan Kalkandeler Özdin stated that adab-ı muaşeret can be broadly addressed, encompassing everything from eating and drinking to hosting guests, from behaviors to established communication and style.
Adab-ı Muaşeret concerns everyone in communication
Emphasizing the importance of adab-ı muaşeret, or etiquette rules, for society, Dr. Nihan Kalkandeler Özdin said, “Since 'muaşeret' means being in social relations with each other, we can think that the polite state within these relations—that is, delicacy, manners, morality, upbringing, courtesy, and affection—does not bind only one side. As I used the term 'relationship' when examining muaşeret, we can say that adab-ı muaşeret rules, in this context, bind everyone who is in a relationship and in communication.”
Important for ensuring social integrity
Stating that every individual's environment and the relationships they establish are unique, Dr. Nihan Kalkandeler Özdin said, “When we think this way, an individual may not wish to establish a relationship that will subject them to rules. However, if we consider the macro structure outside the micro-environment and socialization when we talk about relationships, it is important to shape our words and behaviors within the framework of respect and by considering each other. Since every whole is made up of its constituent parts, society also exists and is shaped by the individuals who form it. Etiquette rules have an undeniable importance for maintaining social integrity and order.”
Etiquette rules are part of identity…
Emphasizing the importance of etiquette rules for a person's place and respectability in society, Dr. Nihan Kalkandeler Özdin said, “Every society has its unique character. If we consider that people accept those who act and speak like them as being from their own culture, and tend to 'otherize' those who act and speak differently, then in our social order where we are intertwined with people, we display an identity through everything from the words that come out of our mouths to our attitudes and behaviors, both in our social relationships and our business life. Even our clothing can be said to be a complement to this identity and at the same time a measure of our respectability. When all these come together, internalizing etiquette rules and making them a way of life also brings about gaining respectability.”
Chewing gum in public is against etiquette rules
Stating that some behaviors in society are also important in terms of etiquette rules, Dr. Nihan Kalkandeler Özdin said, for example, that chewing gum in public is not in accordance with adab-ı muaşeret. Dr. Nihan Kalkandeler Özdin said, “Chewing gum is also an action that should be done with propriety and requires consideration of environmental conditions. For instance, if an audience member is loudly smacking and chewing gum with an open mouth, and even blowing and popping bubbles while a teacher is speaking in class or a speaker at a conference, it is clear that this behavior is not in line with adab-ı muaşeret. However, a person can also use chewing gum as an effective method to prevent stress. Considered as a self-control tool, we can say it has an acceptable aspect. Nevertheless, it is still important to chew gum properly. Eating snacks like sunflower seeds or peanuts in places like cinemas, theaters, or concert halls in a manner inconsistent with etiquette rules, sneezing with an open mouth in public places, and loudly blowing one's nose can be counted among similar inappropriate behaviors.”
Adab-ı Muaşeret can vary by culture
Stating that adab-ı muaşeret can vary across countries and cultures, Dr. Nihan Kalkandeler Özdin said, “Since we are talking about written or unwritten rules that lead to perceptions and discussions with changes in time and mindset, we can also consider etiquette rules as a relative situation. A behavior that one society may disapprove of and consider a cause for disrespect might not be regarded as reputation-damaging behavior for another society.”