Bond, Connection, and Addiction

In the age of crowds, perhaps the loneliest generation in human history is growing up. While tracing with striking examples how a child's bond with the world turns into a connection, and connection into addiction; we talked with Prof. Nevzat Tarhan about the historic step taken by Turkey.

We Are Lonely... This is the title of one of Peyami Safa's books. Even when you read it twice for conviction, it makes you think the same thing: The book's title is much more striking than the book itself. Who knows, maybe it's due to its author's journalism. Because a reporter's skill is evident from their headline. "Yalnızız" is like that, summarizing everything in one word. "We are many," says the author, "We are many, but also few at the same time"... What a stark, what a crystal-clear truth it presents, isn't it? When "We are many" is said, it might not be understood, as of this year, we are over 86 million. We are also a young country. In parks, our children, like beads, play with ladybugs; in the Olympics, young men with powdered hands pole vault; our young girls, with their string-like hair, spread fragrances. In short, the turquoise of our endless seas blends with the orange sunset, and our crimson flag rises in the hands of the youth, adding color to this festive display. Or it used to – until a pale glass blue fell upon it... 

We are lonely millions of times over

 Would you believe us if we told you that a child spends the entire time required to complete a 4-year undergraduate program online until they come of age, that is, until they turn 18? Believe it, because that is exactly the situation. We Are Social's report states that 62.3 million people use social media in Turkey. The most dynamic, largest, and most fragile group within this number consists of children. The Turkish Statistical Institute supports this data, stating that 96.3% of children aged 6-15 use YouTube, and 41.5% use Instagram. Moreover, in these "attention economy" applications, the most favored content does not exceed a few seconds. Often, thousands, even tens of thousands of pieces of content fit into an hour of screen time. So, by the time you read the 233 words up to this sentence, your child has already been exposed to nearly 20 videos – including scrolls.

From Bond to Addiction

When a baby is born, it first experiences "secure attachment." It learns something from its parents' smiles, gestures, and even the tone of their voice. Secure attachment is followed by social smiling, the first few words, and steps. Then connection forms. In the neighborhood, in the park, on the road, at the market; they meet and get to know people somewhere. At this stage, they will decide whether to connect with them or not. Years and years ago, with what they learned from their securely attached parents, they either play games or remain indifferent and move away. Thus, they acquire a social circle in their own family, neighborhood, and surroundings. A chosen, thoughtful, controlled, and long-term formed environment... Social media, by breaking all these rules, promises sociability: Random, instantaneous, uncontrolled... Since children cannot resist this bombardment, they are the platforms' best "customers." Dopamine, which should be released slowly in the ordinary course of life, flows abundantly on social media; it puts fresh brains into a hypnotic-like trance, and finally, since this high happiness can only be obtained from there, a mind addicted to jet-speed social media is built instead of real life flowing in slow motion.

We are becoming more crowded, but we are not getting closer. In an era where a child spends the years until they turn 18 in front of screens, loneliness is no longer just an emotion; it is becoming the shared destiny of a generation. 

Towards Social Children

A decision has been made to take children out of the customer role and make them children again. According to this decision, published in the Official Gazette on May 1, 2026, social media access has been closed for children who have not completed 15 years of age. Moreover, the deadline is quite soon, with November 2026 marked on the calendar as the day this door will be effectively bolted. Furthermore, services cannot be provided to those under 15, even with parental consent; for young people aged 15-18, a unique, "segregated," and safer corridor will be designed. So, how will this door truly remain locked? The answer lies in an architecture rarely seen in the world. The system, established shoulder-to-shoulder by the Ministry of Family and Social Services, Ministry of Justice, Directorate of Communications, Directorate of Cyber Security, and BTK, is entrusted to a cryptographic key, the "e-Devlet Token" system. At the moment of registration on the platform, the user is directed to the e-Devlet gateway, but not a single piece of sensitive information, such as name, surname, or T.C. identification number, is leaked to the companies. The only thing the platform receives is an electronically signed, simple, and cold binary code: "this user is over 15." The existing 16-year age threshold for e-Devlet membership has been used as the hinge for this lock. The possibility of children hiding behind VPNs has also not been forgotten; legal VPN providers have also been subjected to the same e-Devlet approved verification requirement. Platforms that do not comply with the rule, do not establish verification, or do not filter misleading advertisements are facing an increasingly tightening noose: heavy sanctions and penalties. 

Tarhan: "The Regulation is a Vital Lifeline"

As with all addictions, overcoming social media addiction and "nomophobia," the fear of being without internet and phone, will undoubtedly be difficult. Speaking to TRT Vizyon magazine, President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, outlines a roadmap for parents on this issue.

We know that there are over 62 million social media users in Turkey. A large portion of these consists of children. So, what are the direct and indirect implications of social media use in children?

When analyzing the effects of social media on children, one must start with the brain's reward system. The human brain, especially a child's brain that has not yet completed its development, is prone to pleasure-oriented functioning. Social media platforms constantly bombard children with dopamine. Every like received, every new content watched leads to instantaneous dopamine surges in the brain. In psychiatry, we call this "hedonic adaptation"; the brain quickly adapts to this superficial pleasure and craves more. In a child's brain constantly under the threat of stimuli, the development of the prefrontal cortex (forebrain), which provides logical thinking and impulse control, is hindered. The child transforms into an individual unable to delay desires, lacking the skill of "delayed gratification," and entirely impulsive. As real-life face-to-face relationships give way to digital screens, the mirror neurons that nourish children's empathy skills atrophy. The child loses the ability to read others' emotions, becoming selfish, egocentric (narcissistic), and an individual with weak social ties.

Do you think these implications in children lead to permanent sociological transformations in our society?

Absolutely yes. Culture and civilization are built not from top to bottom, but from bottom to top, that is, through individuals' emotions and relationships. The mental transformation of children brings along societal and political transformations. Digitalization is shaking the genetic codes of society and centuries-old mechanisms of belonging. "Loneliness," which the United Nations has declared as one of the three biggest dangers awaiting the future, is becoming chronic in our society. Today, children live in the same house as their families, at the same table, but utterly alone. The situation of "connection exists but no bond" is turning into a societal plague. The human brain, unlike other living beings, is programmed from birth with "meaning-seeking" metacognitive (higher-order cognitive) genes. Social media undermines this search for meaning by offering children a fake, shallow, and consumption-based world. This situation carries the risk of leading to a decay of meaning at the societal level and the emergence of a feudal/tribal mentality in the future, where concepts like "friendship, mutual aid, peer courtesy" are completely lost, and the sense of justice is damaged.

According to the 2025 report by the organization We Are Social, users in our country spend an average of 7 hours and 13 minutes "online" daily. A significant portion of this time consists of short-form content, known as "shorts," lasting a few seconds. Consequently, the number of individual pieces of content consumed reaches hundreds of thousands, even millions. So, how does this affect our attention span?

Spending more than 3 hours a day in front of screens with fast-flowing content, meaning with social media, and being exposed to millions of "shorts"-type micro-content, literally condemns the brain to "digital gluttony and attention murder." Just like obese individuals losing control over eating... Mind control is impaired. We become victims of uncontrolled algorithms. In our brain, there is a region called "Salience Network" that determines the order of importance and priority and functions like a computer's RAM.

When you constantly send new stimuli to the brain with multi-second videos, the brain cannot close open files. Every piece of content that cannot be made sense of and shelved leaves an open file behind; as the number of open files increases, the processor slows down, meaning attention and focus span dramatically shorten. Children are now losing their deep reading, deep thinking, and abstract reasoning skills. The brain achieves permanent learning only by experiencing, experimenting, and accumulating memories. Shorts videos, on the other hand, superficialize the brain, make learning impossible, and create a permanent existential anxiety and intolerance in the child.

How do you evaluate the social media restrictions for children that have come into effect? What long-term consequences will these steps bring when implemented?

I consider this legal restriction for children under 15 to be a highly appropriate, overdue, but very strategic protective mental health step. Just as when we fast, the body stops taking nutrients from outside and turns inward, initiating a biological cleansing (autophagy) to recycle damaged cells; social media restriction will also initiate a "mental autophagy" in the child's brain. When the brain is freed from the bombardment of digital junk stimuli from outside, it will find an opportunity for internal repair, neuroplasticity, and building pathways for deep thought. This restriction will serve as a "stress buffer" protecting children from cyberbullying in the virtual world and from approval addiction. In the long term, children will necessarily get up from screens and turn to face-to-face contact with older family members and peers. This will enable them to regain the social capital they most need in life (the safe family tent, the sense of belonging), and as proven in Harvard's 85-year study (Waldinger), meaning will be the greatest shield protecting the mental health of social families.

What do you advise parents to do to eliminate the likely "nomophobic" effects of social media addiction in children caused by the restriction?

When the restriction first comes into effect, it is natural for children to experience nomophobia (fear of being away from their phone) or a kind of withdrawal symptoms, and outbursts of anger. This is because there is a cut-off dopamine flow. Parents should frame this process not as a punishment or pressure, but as an opportunity for "psychological detox and family renewal." Meal times are warm and lovely moments when dopamine is released in the brain. Do not turn dining tables into sermon or conference areas. Place a plate for phones next to the plates on the table and revive the family conversation atmosphere. When you take the screen from a child's hand, a great void of meaning remains behind. You must fill that void with positive family rituals. Face-to-face memories to be accumulated together, cultural heritage transmissions, nature activities, or shared games will produce serotonin, the brain's slow but permanent meaning-oriented happiness hormone. Children do what they see, not what they hear. Telling a child "social media is forbidden" while parents themselves do not put down their phones is against the scales of justice. Parents should first activate their digital conscience and self-management, and personally be a guide and a correct role model for the child on this journey of flexibility. The regulation is a vital lifeline... Consequently, this social media regulation for our children under 15 is not just a technical restriction; it is an extended vital lifeline for our generations lost in the concrete jungles of the digital world. While digitalization has brought the world as close as a "screen" to us, unfortunately, it has distanced people from each other by "a century." We could not remain silent while our children's dreams, attention spans, and most importantly, their search for meaning were being stolen. This legal step offers our families the opportunity to rebuild that safe tent in their homes, to free children's brains from the dopamine slavery of shallow pleasures and introduce them to the serotonin of deep thought. Let's not forget; what will carry a society into the future is not the speed of smartphones, but psychologically sound children who carry fair love in their hearts, wisdom in their minds, and peer courtesy in their souls. This restriction is a historic step taken to protect the mental health of the future.  

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