President of Üsküdar University and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan met with university students from Konya. In a talk titled “The Process of Spiritual Maturation in the Modern Age,” Tarhan spoke with students from various universities and departments about the stages involved in the development of one’s character. Emphasizing the importance of confronting rather than avoiding challenges, Tarhan stated that the real goal in life should be the search for meaning. He also noted that the belief in divine unity and core values lays the foundation for a strong personality, and added that the most fundamental element in character building is the ability to be a good role model.
The talk, held in the Senate Hall at Üsküdar University Main Campus, was attended by students from various universities and departments in Konya.
Three core elements in character building
Addressing students affiliated with the Konya branch of the İlim Yayma Society, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan explained the stages of character development: “There are several core components that shape a person’s character. This is a concept that is internationally accepted. We also use it in positive psychotherapy. For example, there is a measurement tool called the ‘character strengths scale’ that is frequently used in psychotherapy. This scale identifies six virtues and twenty four character traits. The approach was developed by an educational psychologist working at Harvard. There are three fundamental elements in character building: emotion, thought, and behavior. A thought forms in the person’s mind; when emotions are added to this thought, it turns into a belief. If this belief is repeated over approximately six weeks, it becomes a habit. If the habit continues for six months, it becomes part of the personality. This process occurs through a system known as the epigenetic mechanism. In other words, our brain writes an algorithm on the genes as a result of these processes. Last year, the Nobel Prize in Physics was awarded to two individuals who were not physicists. One was a geneticist and the other a cognitive psychologist. Cognitive psychology views the brain like a computer. The brain learns through algorithms. The life scripts we learn in childhood are embedded into our brains like software. These scripts become part of our personality when they find suitable conditions to develop.The seeds planted in our souls emerge in this way. For character to be built, thoughts and emotions must combine with behavior and turn into action. This occurs through a process of imitation and repetition. However, for this transformation to happen, the individual must first believe in it,” he said.
“The real goal should be the search for meaning”
Stating that one should confront rather than run from hardships, Tarhan said:
“Character building is directly related to a person’s ability to cope with challenges. It is not about avoiding difficulties, but rather the strength to face them. However, modernism teaches the philosophy of ‘Do what pleases you, avoid what does not.’ It says, ‘You only live once.’ In order to build character, one must first have a goal. Goals can be divided into two categories: concrete and abstract. Concrete goals include material aspects such as owning a house, a car, wealth, and living a good life. Abstract goals, on the other hand, involve deeper questions such as ‘How do I want to be remembered at the end of my life? What would I want written on my tombstone? What kind of person do I want to be? What do I want to leave behind after I die?’ A person should have such abstract goals. At the top of the goal pyramid should be these kinds of high-level goals. Maslow’s hierarchy of psychosocial needs is a good example of this. Maslow initially placed self actualization at the top. However, near the end of his life, he changed this view. The capitalist system, however, hid this change. This information came to light in a paper published in 2017. The capitalist system presents self actualization as an ego ideal. Concepts like being visible, becoming famous, and being popular are products of this mindset. Yet the real goal should be inner growth and the search for meaning.”
“Belief in Divine Unity establishes a strong foundation for personality”
Speaking about the importance of being a good example in character building, Tarhan said:
“One of the most important matters in character development is where we invest our love. Whatever a person loves and values becomes sacred to them. If this love is directed toward material things such as money or property, that person eventually begins to drift. Nowadays, there is an increasing number of individuals in society who claim to be devout but live secular lifestyles. This is a very dangerous situation. On one hand, a person says ‘I am religious,’ but on the other, they engage in lying, deceit, and betrayal. These are behaviors that are incompatible with Islamic ethics. As such poor examples become more widespread, they have negative effects on young people. I recently read studies on this subject. Fifteen to twenty years ago, the rate of atheism in Türkiye was around two percent. Today it has risen to eight percent. The proportion of those identifying as religious has dropped from fifty three percent to forty four percent. The rate of enrollment in Imam Hatip high schools, which used to be around thirty to forty percent, has now decreased to about ten percent. All of these statistics indicate a troubling trend in society, and the root cause is being a poor example. Therefore, the most fundamental element in character building is the ability to be a good role model. Instead of blaming others, we should look at ourselves. Are we setting a good example for our own children and for those around us? Because children do not follow the words of their parents; they follow their footsteps. The most effective form of communication is behavioral communication. This is also known as nonverbal communication. What matters is not what we say, but rather our tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, and emotional delivery. In our culture, the morality of the Qur’an is our greatest guide in this regard. The belief in divine unity and fundamental values ensures that the personality is built on solid ground. But here, a crucial distinction must be made. Being traditional is different from being traditionalist. Being traditional is beautiful; it means preserving our essence. But being traditionalist means attempting to carry on a lifestyle from two or three centuries ago in its outward form. What truly matters is keeping the essence alive without being fixated on form,” he said.
“Character building should begin with the belief in divine unity”
Sharing an artificial intelligence interpretation of Prophet Muhammad, Tarhan said, “I asked artificial intelligence, ‘If our Prophet, peace be upon him, were living in this era, how would he explain and convey his religion?’ Artificial intelligence responded, ‘He would synthesize religion with science.’ Today, we must also approach young people with this synthesis. Because science is the knowledge of Allah. Natural sciences and religious sciences are two different languages of the same truth. They are not contradictory. Therefore, the foundation of faith is very important in character building.Without answering the fundamental questions of faith in the minds of young people and guiding them toward belief in divine unity, we cannot build a sound moral system. Because morality can only be established on a strong foundation of belief. There are three major sources that guide us to Allah: the Holy Qur’an, the Prophet (peace be upon him), and the book of the universe. In this age, if we can get young people to read the book of the universe, all three will point toward the direction of divine unity. Scientific developments point to the order in the universe and the existence of the Creator. That is why I had to write the book titled The Psychology of Belief. My aim was to offer young people a solid foundation by synthesizing these topics with scientific data. Because without answering such questions, character building remains incomplete. Therefore, character building should begin with the belief in divine unity.”
“Fundamental values should begin to be taught in primary school”
Emphasizing the importance of teaching core values early on in character education, Tarhan said: “The process we call character building actually begins at a very early age. In countries such as China and Japan, character education is provided between the ages of four and six. Instilling character in children cannot be achieved merely by transferring knowledge. Children want experience while learning. They learn through play and by living out life scenarios. They share with friends, make mistakes, fight, and reconcile. In other words, they learn life through experience. In this process, children should not be overloaded with theoretical information. They should be made to play games, engage in sports, and learn to act together. This is how the foundations of character are laid. Keeping promises, not lying, taking care of belongings, and cleaning up their room. For example, a preschool child should be taught that a fish in an aquarium can die. Because recognizing the reality of death starts here. If the child does not learn this, the loss of a loved one later may cause deep devastation. This too is a form of value education. All these fundamental values should begin to be taught in primary school. That means character education should begin well before academic education.”
“Positive psychology is not naive optimism”
Speaking about concepts in positive psychology, Tarhan said: “Positive psychology is not naive optimism. Naive optimism means ignoring the negative entirely, giving away your last bite of food, or turning the other cheek when slapped. Positive psychology is not this. Classical psychology aims to bring the negative to zero; it focuses on fixing pathology and healing disease. Positive psychology, on the other hand, aims to rise above zero. It brings the individual into the positive range and improves their quality of life. In English, this is called wellbeing. In our culture, the equivalent of wellbeing is the word afiyet. We have reduced this word to something said after meals, but in truth, afiyet means the state of full wellness. Positive psychology also speaks of the concept of authentic happiness. In our culture, the counterpart to authentic happiness is huzur. Huzur is of Arabic origin and means to be present, to be in readiness. A person who knows both good and evil, who is prepared for evil but still develops an inner peace, can remain peaceful even in the harshest conditions. One can experience the same inner peace in both a prison and a palace.This is the morality of the Prophet. This is true peace. The concepts that positive psychology promotes are, in fact, already present in our culture, our belief system, our language, and our prayers.”
“Fundamental knowledge must be transformed into morality”
Emphasizing the importance of being a role model through behavior, Tarhan said:
“When Ibn Khaldun was asked, ‘What is the real education of a child?’ he replied, ‘No special education is needed; however you are, your child will be like that.’ This is exactly the case. We give fundamental knowledge, but that knowledge must transform into morality within the child. Religiosity has both an outer form and an inner content. The outer form includes rituals, worship, and clothing. The content is the essence of the matter, which is morality. Think of it like the peel of an orange. The peel is important, but so is the inside. Without the peel, the fruit rots, but if there is nothing inside, it is worthless. Today, many people say they are religious but focus only on appearances. This is wardrobe religiosity — an outward, hollow religiosity. This kind of approach drives people away from religion because it lacks sincerity and morality. The essence has been lost. Therefore, we must first set an example for our children and those around us through our behavior, our state, and our attitudes. If we can do this, then there may be no need for a special effort to build character. Saying this is easy, but in this era, putting it into practice is truly difficult,” he said.
“It is love and patience, not pressure, that brings success”
Addressing the consequences of a culture of pressure, Tarhan stated: “In an environment of pressure, two types of people are raised: one becomes a hypocrite, and the other becomes rebellious. In oppressive cultures, children begin to lie in order to protect themselves. They say, ‘I did not do it,’ deny the wrongdoing, and deceive their parents. Over time, such behavior turns into part of their character. In such an environment, a child either becomes passive and obedient, says yes to everything, but completely breaks away from the family during adolescence. Or, on the contrary, the child may develop an autonomous character, becoming a person who questions and resists authority. In fact, the second type is healthier because that child preserves their honesty. It is easier to convince such children and explain what is right to them. In other words, pressure backfires. In such a case, the child should be clearly and reasonably informed of what is right: ‘This is our truth. It will be in your best interest to follow it. If you do not, you may face these negative consequences.’ However, if the child insists despite everything, then do not push further. Because it is not pressure but love and patience that bring results,” he said.
Love must be unconditional
Emphasizing that a home should be a place of trust, Tarhan said: “It is not enough for a home to have love alone; it must also be a safe haven. When love is combined with honesty, it gives rise to trust. If love is inconsistent and lacks honesty, it does not build trust. This can make a child spoiled and selfish. In the past, we used to refer to the family as a ‘home of love’; now we say it must be a ‘home of trust.’ Because without trust, a healthy bond cannot be established. But for trust to exist, love must come first. This love must be unconditional. Conditional love such as ‘I love you only if you behave this way’ or ‘I will not love you if you act like that’ alienates the child from themselves. True and lasting love emerges through trust and cooperation. Therefore, it is very important for the home to be a structured environment. Rules should not only be imposed but explained with their reasoning. It is essential not only to teach children the morality of the Prophet but to live it out with clear explanations. This approach brings peace in this world and reward in the hereafter,” he concluded.
Book signing event held
At the end of the talk, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan signed and gifted his book Being a Conscious Young Person to the students.
The event concluded with a group photo session.
Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)