President of Üsküdar University and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan participated in the Guidance and Psychological Counseling (PDR) Summit organized by Istanbul Aydın University. Speaking on the topic of "Psychological Resilience and Motivation" at the event attended by approximately a thousand educators from across Istanbul, Tarhan emphasized that psychological resilience must be learned in order to bend under pressure and return to one's original state. He reminded that the challenges we face are part of personal growth and stressed the importance of being solution-oriented rather than problem-focused. Tarhan also drew attention to the appropriate use of artificial intelligence, warning that if misused, it could completely disrupt life.
The summit at Istanbul Aydın University was attended by numerous experts in their fields.
“What matters is being happy with ordinary things”
Explaining how psychological resilience can be developed, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said: “When we talk about psychological resilience, what a person understands from this concept is crucial. In English, it is called ‘psychological resilience.’ The term ‘resilience’ doe not fully capture its meaning. In our culture, it is often interpreted as being unyielding or strong. But the concept is actually rooted in flexibility. You face a challenge, you bend, and then you return to your original state. That is why psychological resilience must be learned. Many studies have been conducted on this subject. One of the most well-known is the PERMA model. The first element of the PERMA model is ‘positive emotion’, that is, not positive thinking, but positive emotional state. Being able to maintain a positive mood in the face of events. Some people are always on the defensive, constantly negative, always looking for a problem, and that kind of person cannot develop psychological resilience. The second element is ‘engagement’, that is, being fully involved in what you are doing. For example, if a student loses track of time during a class and experiences flow, this is a sign of resilience. The third element is ‘relationships.’ Building healthy relationships is very important. When facing stress, being able to stay calm and move forward by learning from experiences, and this is called post-traumatic growth. The fourth element is ‘meaning.’ If what you are doing has meaning, it creates a sense of satisfaction. Without meaning, the brain functions only on dopamine. Dopamine is the pleasure hormone. However, serotonin is the happiness hormone, which is linked to meaning and leads to purpose-oriented happiness. The fifth and final element is ‘achievement.’ But here, we are talking about small achievements. If you are always chasing grand successes and cannot be happy without them, that is not sustainable. What matters is being happy with ordinary things, that is, a smile, a small act of kindness, asking how someone is. Enjoying routines. These are the people who can achieve psychological resilience.”
“One of the subfields of positive psychology is the psychology of kindness”
Tarhan emphasized that humans are social beings: “One of the subfields of positive psychology is the psychology of kindness. Many studies are being conducted in this area. One professor once said, ‘In schools, we do not study peer bullying, we study peer kindness.’ That is a very important perspective. There is a study from Harvard University conducted in 136 countries. It compared the happiness levels of philanthropic and non-philanthropic businesspeople. The results showed that those who are charitable and generous are 23% happier. This is known in psychology as ‘helping others.’ Helping others allows a person to transcend themselves and reach a higher level of purpose. This perspective also forms the general framework of psychological resilience. Today, the 2.0 version of positive psychology has been developed. The new focus is more on meaning and purpose. This is what differentiates humans from other living beings. For animals, it is enough to have shelter, food, and water. But humans need to feel safe, build relationships, form communities, and socialize. Without these needs being met, a person cannot be happy.”
“A positive emotional state is closely related to personality structure”
Touching on the concept of epigenetics, Tarhan stated: “A positive emotional state is closely tied to personality structure. Studies on personality types have identified 12 different personality types. The American Psychiatric Association later reduced this to 10, but in DSM-III, it is still 12. These types are generally grouped into three clusters: Cluster A, Cluster B, and Cluster C. Some are classified as personality disorders, while others are seen as personality tendencies. Overall, there are 14 different personality tendencies. A person’s personality structure is shaped by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. About 30–40% of this structure is genetic. We can liken this to a building's framework, just as load-bearing columns account for about 30–40% of a building’s structure, genetics make up a similar proportion of personality. The remaining 60–70% consists of epigenetic elements. These are like the building’s electricity, water, and interior systems. Epigenetics refers to behavioral patterns shaped by environmental influences learned throughout life. A piece of information first enters the mind. When that information is paired with emotion, it becomes a belief. If that belief persists, it turns into a habit. If that habit continues for about six months, it becomes a personality trait.”
Tarhan: “Challenges are actually part of growth!”
President of Üsküdar University and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan attended the Guidance and Psychological Counseling (PDR) Summit organized by Istanbul Aydın University. Speaking on “Psychological Resilience and Motivation” at the event attended by around a thousand educators from across Istanbul, Tarhan emphasized that psychological resilience must be learned in order to bend in the face of challenges and then return to one’s original state. Reminding that difficulties are part of growth, Tarhan stressed the importance of being solution-oriented rather than problem-focused. He also highlighted the need for proper use of artificial intelligence, warning that misuse can disrupt life entirely.
“What matters is being able to find happiness in ordinary things”
Explaining how to develop psychological resilience, Tarhan said: “There are two dimensions to life events: threat and opportunity. A wise person sees not only the threat but also the opportunity and makes a plan focused on that opportunity. Even in summer, we must prepare for winter. Simply waiting for winter is not a correct attitude. Waiting increases stress and leads to unhappiness. Some situations in life are within our control; others are not. One method used in new-generation psychotherapies is radical acceptance. With this approach, individuals accept situations they cannot change or influence. Then they develop a Plan B, or if needed, a Plan C. If someone keeps fighting to change an unchangeable situation, like a serious illness, and they should stop asking, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ and instead ask, ‘How can I manage this in the best possible way?’ In psychology, there are post-traumatic growth scales. When trauma survivors are assessed with these, some people turn the experience into growth. Those who cannot often display problem-focused thinking. Solution-oriented individuals, on the other hand, learn from the problem, find solutions, and grow. This is an empowering process. The challenges we experience are actually part of growth. If young people adopt this perspective, they can develop in a healthier way. In the past, youth matured through scarcity. Today’s generation is growing up in abundance. Maturing in abundance is harder because everything is readily available. That is why some say, ‘Why should I study?’ Today’s youth are somewhat comfort-seeking and self-centered, but they are also very endearing. If we can be good role models, they can learn to mature despite abundance. Therefore, someone living in abundance must have an ego ideal that motivates them to work and strive for meaning.”
“Children must be taught responsibility at an early age”
Tarhan emphasized the importance of teaching resilience to children: “To enhance children’s psychological resilience, they need to be taught responsibility at a young age. Instead of immediately satisfying every request, children should learn to delay gratification and undergo resilience training. They must be given a goal to achieve. The ages between 4 and 6 are critical for this kind of education. During this period, the pleasure centers in a child’s brain should not be limited to momentary enjoyments. In other words, a child should not receive all their dopamine from screens or games.. They should also be introduced to music, art, and acts of kindness. This way, the brain develops multiple sources of pleasure. If one source becomes unavailable later in life, the child can rely on others. Focusing only on consumption from a single source can lead to severe issues such as substance addiction. Therefore, children's brains should be exposed to diverse experiences from an early age, that is, multitasking. Emotional regulation must also be taught. Children should learn to enjoy various activities and manage their emotions.”
“The most effective form of education is role modeling”
Emphasizing the need for cooperative parenting, Tarhan said: “A marriage may end, but parenting never does. If a divorce occurs, intelligent and conscious parents can still work together for the well-being of the child. In such cases, even if the child grows up in a separated family, the harm is minimized. If the child sees that ‘my parents still communicate for my good,’ it is highly valuable for emotional development. However, if the child hears one parent criticizing the other, it damages the sense of secure attachment. The child becomes confused about what is right or wrong and struggles with internal chaos. If the home provides a secure environment, the child sees their family as a refuge and will return even after making mistakes. From a young age, we should ask children, ‘What kind of person do you want to be at the end of your life? How do you want to be remembered? What do you want to contribute to society?’ The more they reflect on these questions, the more their goals take shape, and they understand that the road to success is not always smooth. If parents serve as good role models in overcoming challenges, the child will learn these skills as well. In this context, the most effective education is being a role model.”
“If misused, it can turn life upside down!”
Tarhan also emphasized the importance of using artificial intelligence correctly: “At the current stage of technology, we now have AI-supported chat applications developed to combat loneliness. Someone even jokingly said, ‘Let me give this to my mother-in-law so she can keep herself busy.’ Indeed, AI helps us access information quickly and streamlines certain processes. But a critical detail must not be overlooked: AI has no consciousness. It only interprets and produces based on what it is fed. That is why most AI applications come with disclaimers like ‘This information may be inaccurate.’ Yes, AI can ease life, assist in therapy processes, and even keep someone company when they feel lonely. But ultimate decisions must always be made by a person with emotional intelligence who knows the individual well. A software cannot know your strengths and weaknesses or truly understand you. This is especially risky for adolescents. Some teenagers develop intense emotional attachments to AI tools. In one case in the UK, a 14-year-old girl mistook her interaction with an AI as real. She believed the AI loved her and decided they should die together. She eventually attempted suicide. This tragedy was not the fault of AI itself but a result of a young mind’s confusion, being unable to distinguish feelings from reality. We must remember that technology itself is neutral. The way we use it is what matters. Used correctly, it provides fast access to information and simplifies life. Misused, it can turn life upside down.”
“The master-apprentice relationship is the essence of education”
Concluding his remarks, Tarhan noted: “Learning does not happen only through books but also through lived experiences. The master-apprentice relationship is the essence of education because theoretical knowledge becomes permanent only when combined with real-life facts. Thinking about, analyzing, and sharing real-life events, and this is the peak of the learning pyramid. Learning through teaching. While listening is the lowest level of learning, teaching through projects and presentations is the highest. That is why project-based learning models are becoming more widespread globally. Groups of students research a topic, develop a project, and present it in class. This boosts both their confidence and their internalization of knowledge. Active participation from a young age is the key to long-term learning. This means teachers must work harder and invest more effort. If we do not make that effort now, future generations will blame us.”
Photo: Elifnur Celep
Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)