Children who are strong-willed against pleasure traps are less likely to get addicted!
President of Üsküdar University Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan was the live broadcast guest of TGRT Haber. Tarhan made remarkable evaluations on the subject of "Digitalization and Its Impact on Children". Emphasizing that children with weak family bonds can become addicted more easily, Tarhan noted that children who are strong-willed against pleasure traps are less likely to get addicted.
Their brains turn into highways, and they just live only with it!
Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that addiction disrupts the reward system in the brain in the live broadcast he attended and emphasized the similarity between digital addiction and substance addiction. Tarhan stated that "The digital world has taken our young people captive. It influences, manages, speaks and in a way controls one’s life as it wishes. The digital world has such a feature. There are two types of addiction: one is chemical addictions, and the other is behavioral addictions. Digital addiction falls into the group of behavioral addictions. In this addiction, just like substance addiction, the reward system in the person's brain is disrupted. The network in the brain is like a highway. Reward failure syndrome is seen in addicted people, they do not get enough of the reward. That area of the brain is like a highway, and they just think about that reward. They only live with it, only care about it. It is at the center of life, but it takes years for this to happen. It does not happen all of a sudden.”
A child with a weak family bond becomes addicted more easily...
Stating that when there is no correct guidance in the family, the risk of children getting digital addiction will increase, Prof. Tarhan expressed that "Adolescence is the period when a young person searches for their own identity in life. In this period, if there is no correct guidance in the family and environment, if there is no correct guidance, these people are more exposed to digital addiction and the risk increases. If there is digital addiction, it is necessary to focus on the environment in which those young people grow up before holding young people responsible. The family environment is important here, the school environment is important. Before, families were doing the transfer of culture, but now the media is doing it. If the family is weak, if it is fragile, these children become addicted more easily. If family bond is good, if children love family, if home is a safe space, children do not become dependent. Even if they get into addiction, they get out easily. If family bond is weak, the child turns to this as a stress reduction technique. They turn to this as a method of happiness. They can turn to thrill-seeking. They turn to it with a sense of curiosity, they turn to innovation as a search behavior; however, the most important factor is that when the person does not feel good, they turn to digital."
“Parenting is preparing the child for life"
Pointing out that the child may become addicted if happiness and pleasure are taught as a philosophy of life, Tarhan also said that the leadership at home should not be lost to the child. Tarhan stated that "Some parents lose the leadership of the family to the child. When the child becomes a leader, a child emerges who wants their every wish to be met and puts pleasure at the center of their life as a philosophy of life. If we teach happiness and pleasure as a philosophy of life, the child will become addicted. Even if the house is in a good environment, if the philosophy of life is wrong, the child becomes addicted. If we have raised our child with the idea that ‘What they like is good, and what they do not like is bad’, if we have presented everything on a golden platter, if we have raised them like a greenhouse flower, if we have removed all the obstacles in front of them, this child will always get used to comfort. In parenting practice, being a parent does not mean making the child happy but preparing the child for life. We will give the child a purpose in life, an ideal of ego. Our children need to learn this."
"Children who are strong-willed against pleasure traps are less likely to get addicted"
Stating that children should be taught the good and the right as a philosophy of life, Tarhan said that "Current schools of psychology say, 'A person who pursues only their own interests is selfish and is evil.' If we teach our children the good and the right as a philosophy of life, our child will be able to take risks for their own future, for their family, for their country, for their homeland, to cope with difficulties, and to say no to pleasure traps. Children who are strong-willed against pleasure traps are less likely to get addicted. We teach children the skill of postponing gratification. 'You have a goal. You will postpone these satisfactions to achieve the goal. You are going to make a sacrifice now, and you are going to earn fivefold in the future.' When we teach this, the child can say no to addiction. It is necessary to teach the skill of postponing gratification and endurance training."
Beware of clip syndrome!
Stating that children between the ages of 0-3 should be kept away from the screen completely, Prof. Tarhan explained the importance of raising children in an environment where love and discipline are balanced. Tarhan stated that "It is absolutely necessary not to give phones and tablets to children between the ages of 0-3. The child should use it under parental supervision from the age of 3 to adolescence. Between the ages of 0-3, the child spends hours and does not make a sound. Then there is what we call 'clip syndrome'. The child has delayed speech, and parents think their child is autistic. Those children suffer from delayed speech that the child's word-making areas and verbal development areas in the brain are not developed, and the brain atrophies. If the child does not learn this until the age of 4, then that child experience difficulties in learning, that is, the child's language speaking skills do not develop. We give phones and tablets to silence the child, especially to make them eat easily, and it becomes a kind of learned autism. If we want them to be a self-directed child who is the captain of their own ship in the future, we will raise the child in a regulated environment. We will grow up in an environment where discipline and love are balanced. The advice should be as one as it is snowfall. If it is slow, steady and consistent, it will work or it will not.”
"Parents should not lose leadership to the child"
Talking about the importance of investing in motherhood and fatherhood, Tarhan stated that "We cannot educate children by yelling and screaming. If we are companions to children, we can educate them. Instead of educating our children in front of us, we need to take them with us and teach them by moving forward on the path of life together. When we are able to do this, that child learns good, bad, and everything. In particular, children are compulsorily dependent on their parents until the age of 10. Until then, parents set boundaries with a sweet discipline in a very comfortable way. Parents can easily direct the child by saying, 'Do this first, and then we will give you the computer.' Parents should not lose leadership to the child. The final decision should be made by the parents using a common language. If the mother says it differently and the father says it differently, the child is also affected by it. Therefore, let's invest in motherhood and fatherhood. You can be a good businessperson, but it is also important that we are good fathers. We can be a good business person, but it is also important to be a good mother. If we share roles in the family in a healthy way, let's not be afraid, children grow up very well on their own. Since the child opens up to the world with their mother and father, motherhood and fatherhood practices are very important in the first 10 years of age."
"We can make the young people of this age love the good, the right and the beautiful with persuasion and convincing"
Stating that the young people of this time should be communicated with according to their frequency, Tarhan concluded his remarks as follows: "In order to have a safe family and a healthy line of work, words of appreciation, praise and approval should be essential at home, and criticism should be the exception. The children of this time do not understand by pressure, threats, intimidation and intimidation, but by persuasion and persuasion. This is the frequency of young people. In other words, we can make the young people of this age love the good, the right and the beautiful only by persuasion and persuasion. If we approach them with fear, we are pushing young people away from ourselves, from our truths, from our own values. Family is an ecosystem. At the center of the ecosystem is the person. After that comes the other environment. Children first has themselves, then their mother, father, family, society, and then their environment. The child is affected by all of this. Therefore, let's raise our children without falling into despair and pessimism. Children learn about life through experiences, stories, and time spent together. They do not learn by advice, by preach. In other words, trust is essential in life, fear is the exception. The important thing is that we make the house a safe space."
Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)