Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, participated in the SUBÜ Talks Live Broadcast organized by Sakarya University of Applied Sciences. In the interview titled “Being a Conscious Young Person,” Tarhan gave golden advice to young people. Advising young people to think long-term instead of short-term, Tarhan stated that they should have an ego ideal worth striving for. Tarhan conveyed that true happiness is happiness dependent on an internal cause, and expressed that a person can be both happy and successful.
The moderation of the online interview was undertaken by Asst. Lecturer İlknur Çakar, Assistant Communication Coordinator of Sakarya Vocational School.
In the interview, Sakarya University of Applied Sciences Rector Prof. Dr. Mehmet Sarıbıyık said to Tarhan; “I extend my sincere thanks to my esteemed professor for taking the time for our students and us amidst his busy schedule. The information you have provided will illuminate the shaping of our inner world.”
“Preventive mental health is very valuable in terms of social benefit”
Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan emphasized the need to leave a good future for new generations; “Generation X is the radio generation. Generation Y is more like the television generation. And Generation Z, we can say, is the generation that receives the cultural transmission of social media. We see that young people are under the influence of serious cultural imperialism, and we need to leave a good future for our own future, our youth, our children, and our grandchildren. This means we need to think about social benefit, not individual benefit. That's why, in all the books I've written, instead of doing book studies on schizophrenia and depression, I've tried to address preventive mental health – that is, how people protect their mental health and how they can be happy in life – in my books 'Being a Conscious Young Person,' 'Psychology of Happiness,' and 'Psychology of Marriage.' Because preventive mental health is very valuable in terms of social benefit and can reach more masses. The reason I wrote the book 'Being a Conscious Young Person' is related to my own life experiences…” he stated.
“Youth is a period where feelings dominate more than reason”
Tarhan, drawing attention to the behavior of young people during the maturation period, said; “The unbalanced behaviors of young people are actually a requirement of their biological and psychological nature. For example, they hate in the morning and love in the evening. That's where the term 'delikanlı' (young man, meaning hot-blooded) comes from. This is natural. When parents say for their child, 'Oh no, my child has strayed, gone!', the child then starts to feel both love and anger towards the parents. In fact, challenging young people are beneficial. They have a future. If challenging young people are guided well, if parents can raise them without making enemies of themselves, an age of positivity emerges around 22 years old. Before that is a period of negativity. If these periods are managed well, those children eventually individualize themselves. They can synthesize the values of their time, their own family, society, and the values of that era. In other words, they can change the future. We need to pave the way for these talents. Conscious young people are not just those who think long-term and merely live for today. They are people who make medium and long-term investments, meaning they act with their minds, not just their feelings. Because youth is a period where feelings dominate more than reason. Emotions are like wild horses; they exist within all of us. They exist in all of us during our youth. If we train the wild horse, it will take us to our goal; if we don't train it, it will take us wherever it wants, leaving us stranded midway.”
“Have an ego ideal worth working for”
Tarhan, advising young people to think long-term instead of short-term, said; “After the age of 10, there's an early adolescence period. During early adolescence, hormones suddenly increase. That is, brain cells have two periods; the period when the brain is booming. Just like trees suddenly turn green and flowers bloom within two or three weeks in spring, everywhere becomes colorful and lush green within two or three weeks. There is such a period. That period occurs between 0-3 years old and again in early adolescence, between 12-15 years old. It happens in that period. Now they call them ‘teenagers’. These ages are between 13 and 19. That definition is truly a good one. In that period, a person is in a stormy period, one of the fragile periods. During these periods, some young people withdraw, while others open up. That is, our body grows rapidly, but our spirit cannot adapt to it. Our spirit cannot adjust itself to the rapid growth of hormones. Our brain is the area of expression for our spirit. So, there is an interface called ‘mind’ between our spirit and our brain. We need to train this interface. What we can advise young people in this period is not to think short-term. Since youth is a period dominated by emotions, due to hormonal balances, life becomes pleasure-oriented. In that situation, we recommend long-term thinking. Have a medium and long-term plan, an ego ideal worth working for, getting tired for, and striving for.”
“If inner consciousness, outer consciousness, and higher consciousness come together, there is tremendous inner peace”
Tarhan, stating that young people should create a mental jury for themselves, said; “Currently, our education system teaches young people to be intelligent and hardworking. Be intelligent, be hardworking, but that's not enough. They need to learn to be a good person and set a good goal. It's as if there's an invisible protector within people who intend to be good. If a distraction appears on their path, that feeling of conscience within them says, ‘no.’ The second piece of advice I'll give young people is to create a mental jury for themselves. There are three types of consciousness. There's inner consciousness that comes from ourselves. There's outer consciousness taught by society, also known as the collective subconscious. The third is higher consciousness, also called metacognition. This person will work hard and get tired in life. There is Maslow's Psychosocial Needs Pyramid. Maslow made a big change in that pyramid. The capitalist system exploited that change. It also influenced science. The most basic needs are eating, drinking, procreating, sheltering. Then comes the need to love and be loved, the need to respect and be respected. After that, there are needs related to transcendence. There's the need for self-actualization. He placed ‘the need for self-transcendence’ above self-actualization. The need for self-transcendence means the need to do something for society and spiritual needs, moral needs. If inner consciousness, outer consciousness, and higher consciousness are together in a person, there is tremendous inner peace. People who have a sacred feel a subjective emotion when they value and think about the sacred. This emotion is called inner peace, the peace given by higher consciousness. There are things a person can control and things they cannot. There are things within their power and things beyond it. There are things they can change and things they cannot change. In such situations, when they believe in a high value, a high belief, there is a subjective peace that belief brings. Therefore, young people should attach importance to being part of such a high meaning.”
“What makes a human being human is cultural identity”
Tarhan, touching upon roles in the family and identities that make a human being human, said; “There are roles in a family. The mother's role, the father's role, the spouse's role, the business person's role, and the child's role. If role-sharing is healthy, there is peace at home. There are also identities that constitute a person. One is our individual identity, and the other is cultural identity. Generally, there are two pillars that form cultural identity: language and religion. Biological identity is beneath this. What makes a human being human is cultural identity. That is, beyond cultural identity, there is also a universal identity, human identity. That is, an identity of being part of universal humanity. A person must have a role, considering all these identities. If a person only thinks of their own interests, if they live only for their own interests, that person is bad.”
“One must stay away from such people”
Tarhan, speaking about the need to stay away from narcissistic people, said; “Those who are only concerned with themselves, only think of their own interests, referred to as ‘self-interest’ in English, are toxic and narcissistic personalities. A book titled ‘The Narcissism Epidemic’ was published in the USA. This is rapidly increasing among young people. To a very high degree. These individuals, for example, say in a family, ‘What I say will happen, I will set all the rules.’ In a workplace, in relationships, they seek a master-slave relationship with others. They want others to obey blindly. These people are toxic people, and one must stay away from them. Therefore, these types of personalities are important…”
“Strong culture swallows weak culture”
Tarhan, talking about how we can modernize while preserving our own identity, said; “Strong culture swallows weak culture. Currently, it's as if there's voluntary cultural imperialism. Under its influence, many cultures will disappear in the next 50 years, and many will be transformed by popular culture. Here, we need to choose modernization by preserving our own culture. If we choose modernization by preserving our own culture, we choose modernization while preserving our own identity. The cultural role is important for this. That is, a person can both preserve their own identity and benefit from the opportunities of modern life. For example, the Japanese education system is currently achieving this. Popular culture affects them there too, there is change, but not to that extent. What preserves Japanese culture is the feeling of shame. Children are taught the feeling of shame at an early age. This is not genetic; it's related to teaching. However, they have a weak side. The feeling of shame is high, but the feeling of compassion is weak. In our society, the feeling of compassion is high, but as a society, we are losing the feeling of shame…”
“There is a very serious drift among young generations”
Tarhan, stating that true happiness is happiness dependent on an internal cause, said; “Modernism always ties happiness to external causes. ‘Have this, be happy; have that, be happy.’ True happiness is happiness dependent on an internal cause and is related to inner consciousness. Despite all these storms, despite all these unfavorable conditions, rest assured, a person can be both happy and successful. Young people can be happy and successful, but they should definitely not read American success books. Those books entirely breed types of ruthless, savage capitalism. That is, currently, we are the country that uses the most antidepressants after America. The reason for this is Western capitalism. It handled the concept of social justice, the concept of a welfare state very well, but we suddenly encountered capitalism. The segments of society that were against capitalism also met capitalism, and they have all now become a kind of green capitalist. We entered into such a situation, and there is this tremendous rupture, a very serious drift among young generations. For this reason, our young people should try to modernize while preserving our values.”
“Purpose awakens desire, desire awakens need, and need awakens motivation”
Tarhan, stating that motivation should be determined as the starting point, said; “A young person who manages artificial intelligence very well, no matter their profession, will reach a very important position in the future. Young people should not chase money, they should chase need. What is society's need? What is my need? They should manage the expectations of their professions, and their needs regarding the future. If a person has a purpose, a desire awakens to achieve it. The brain programs itself accordingly. There is a purpose, desire awakens. When desire awakens, our biological nature immediately kicks in, we mobilize ourselves, and our need arises. Purpose awakens desire, desire awakens need, and need awakens motivation. Therefore, the starting point of motivation is setting a purpose. A person with a high vision also develops themselves. That's why it is very important for young people to definitely have a vision.”
“Apply the 5S rule for a healthy marriage”
Tarhan, giving advice to young people before marriage, said; “I say, ‘Open your eyes wide before marriage, and half-open them after marriage.’ It's not right to open your eyes wide after marriage. You will open them halfway. One eye will be blind, one ear deaf. If it's like this, the marriage runs well. It's important for your perspective on marriage to be this way. Apply the 5S rule for a healthy marriage. The first S of this rule is love, but there is a concept greater than love, and that is compassion. Compassion is unconditional, selfless love. This love includes empathy. The second is respect. When we say respect, sometimes it can be respect based on fear, but true respect is respect with empathy, which is called politeness. A polite person does not want to hurt someone they respect, someone they value. The third is loyalty. That is, if you think ‘If it doesn't work out, I'll separate’ in marriage, don't get married. Because marriage is a long journey, and one who embarks on a long journey should not consider separation as an option. For loyalty to form here, it is necessary to think of marriage as a lifelong journey. Therefore, loyalty is very important in marriage. The word loyalty has two meanings. The first meaning is ‘sıdk,’ meaning truthfulness. If there is honesty, a lifelong marriage will form. It needs to be an open, transparent, and accountable relationship. The second meaning is commitment. To be loyal, to be committed is truthfulness. Those who do not accept loyalty as a value cannot sustain a marriage. The fourth is patience. This is what we need most in this era. If you ask what the greatest evil modernism has done to us, it is this haste, this impatience. We want everything to happen immediately, right now. The fifth S is sincerity. Sincerity truly has a magical effect. In recent years, research on sincerity, on genuineness, has yielded knowledgeable results. Sincerity is also very important in marriage. If there is sincerity, the home becomes a safe haven. If you see your home as a sanctuary when you come home, if you comfort each other, if you give peace, that marriage runs very well. Every difficulty can be overcome, don't worry at all…”
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