President of Üsküdar University Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan attended the "Family and Adolescent Psychology" conference organized in cooperation with Bağcılar Malazgirt Secondary School and Enderun International Youth and Civilization Association. Underlining that adolescence is the period of individualization, Tarhan suggested that values education should be taught through modules. Stating that the biggest trace of this time is digital platforms, Tarhan pointed out that young people follow the traces, not the words. Tarhan also opened the classroom for students with special needs.
The event held in the conference hall of Malazgirt Secondary School was attended by President of Üsküdar University and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, Bağcılar District Governor Abdullah Kuçgun, District Director of National Education Mehmet Sansar, Bağcılar Municipality Deputy Mayor Volkan Çakmak, Bağcılar Youth and Sports Director İlyas Karsavran, Education Bir-Sen 1st Branch President Mükremin Köse, District National Education Branch Director Özkan Boyacı and Mustafa Ceyhan, Suffa Foundation President Tamer Göde, Malazgirt Secondary School Principal Seyhan Saraç and Üsküdar University Education and Guidance Services unit.
Seyhan Saraç: "Every word he shares will enlighten our path as educators"
Principal of Bağcılar Malazgirt Secondary School Seyhan Saraç gave the opening speech and made the following remarks: "Today, we are honored to host a very meaningful gathering for our education community. We are welcoming a highly esteemed figure, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, who is respected both nationally and internationally for his pioneering work and contributions to mental health. His insights, based on years of experience in family, child, and adolescent psychology, will enlighten our path as educators and help us better support our students and their families. We are deeply grateful to Prof. Tarhan for accepting our invitation despite his busy schedule. I hope this session will be fruitful and inspiring for all of us."
"Adolescence is a period of individuation"
Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, who explained what happened during adolescence, stated that "Adolescence is not being an adult. Sometimes we come across such adolescents that they have reached the age of 40 but are still teenagers. We call this prolonged puberty. In fact, it is more common in men. She will marry, but she has no matrimonial maturity. There are information and contributions brought by neuroscience to human life. There are studies on how the human brain works. The human brain explodes and opens in two periods of its life. In the spring, the trees suddenly turned green and bloomed. In the human brain, there is a great synaptic explosion in two periods, it blooms. One is between 0-3 years old, and the other is between 12-15 years old in adolescence. At that time, the brain makes a tremendous explosion of cells. It is shaped according to the way of upbringing. It is the family that first shapes the brain between the ages of 0-3. According to systems theory, the smallest system is the family. The smallest system in a body is the cell, and in society, it is the family. If the cell is not healthy, the body collapses. In the same way, if the family does not work, education is turned upside down. The second explosion in the brain occurs during adolescence. This is now genetically constructed for the child's self-development and socialization. The child now wants to be autonomous. He wants to be autonomous. Adolescence is a period of individuation. Because of this, it is normal for the child to say 'no' to his mother and father. Some schools of psychology even call adolescence a normal schizophrenic period. There is also a hadith about this. ‘The age of puberty is a branch of madness,’ says the Prophet. He says this 1,400 years ago. In other words, the fact that the child behaves like crazy during adolescence is actually related to his hormones and the neuroscience in the brain."
"We need to be able to educate our children according to future generations"
Underlining that parents should prepare children for life, Tarhan said that "Since adolescence is the period when the child learns his social limits, parents should prepare the child for life instead of suppressing him and treating him like a statue. That's why open communication is so important. The lifestyle of this age is not the same as it was 100 years ago. Therefore, it is necessary to raise our children according to the new lifestyle. In this regard, it is essential to raise children not according to the age they are in, but according to the age they will live in. For this reason, we need to have a goal in education. We need to be able to educate our children according to future generations. It is necessary to know the biological and psychological nature of adolescence. To be a guide captain on the path of life. There are two types of captaincy. The first is to be at the helm and the second is to be the pilot. We need to be guides to young people."
"Today’s biggest influence is digital platforms"
Stating that the biggest trace of this time is digital platforms, Tarhan said that "During adolescence, kids are like, 'Who am I? Where should I belong? Why?' When he asks the question "Who am I?", the person first looks at himself and then at his immediate surroundings. It looks at the country, the homeland, humanity and the universe. In the meantime, it forms its own identity like a bee. All their honey circulates. If we raise the child like a greenhouse flower, they will easily get sick when they first go out without knowing life. Because their immune systems are not developed against life events. Parenting is not about doing everything the child says, but about guiding him. That is, to be able to respond in the language that he understands. Young people do not follow words, but footprints. It can be anything we call a trace. The biggest footprint in this time is digital platforms."
"Locking oneself in their room is a message"
Tarhan deals with the causes of introversion in adolescence and made the following statements: "It is a message that during adolescence, the child is confined to his room. Here, instead of going right over to him and saying, 'What are you doing?', you need to read the background of this. 'What need does he need to do this? What kind of emptiness does he feel about this that he is getting this done?' It is necessary to find him and approach him in a language he understands. Approaching with his truths. The reason for the child's introversion may be peer bullying. For example, he goes to school. At school, they can make fun of her outfit. This is traumatic for an adolescent. The young people of this time are young people who ask questions and question. If he is asking, if he is talking, if he is not throwing it in, it is fine. Parents need to listen to him, but if he does not listen and constantly lectures the child, that child will not listen. In such a case, he closes himself in the room so as not to disrespect the mother and father. Here, we need to establish a horizontal relationship when talking to our child. That is, to be a companion. If we establish a horizontal relationship, we can have a conversation with the children. As a result, we can find the cause of introversion."
"People can only progress when they are part of a social structure"
Drawing attention to the 21st century skills in the individualization of the child, Tarhan said; "The child learns life through trial and error. Therefore, social contact is important. If the child spends time with his family, he learns many things easily. The individuation of the child is already a requirement of his biological nature. If we do not give it the opportunity to individualize, it will be part of a non-entrepreneurial, non-aggressive system. The most important skills of the 21st century are innovation, entrepreneurship and teamwork. For the child to learn these skills, he must experience some difficulties. He will learn the social limits of the life he will live. Let's give the child the right to live. That child will live, cry, grieve. We raise our children in such a way that families are not patriarchal families, but children are patriarchal families. We want the world to revolve around our child. This does not correspond to the realities of life. It's a nice thing, but it's not possible. Because man is a relational being. A person can only move forward in life when he is a part of the social structure."
"The engine of global capitalism is consumption"
Underlining that children should be protected against the capitalist system, Tarhan said that "Currently, the locomotive of the global capitalist system is consumption. The wheel of consume and earn is turning. He manages in this way, but at this rate, he will fall into the hole he dug himself. That is how it collapsed in Rome. We need to keep our own children and our area clean and intact here. We cannot tell our children about this by giving conferences. When we explain the life events with reasons, the child understands. Very good examples, scientific data have accumulated. In fact, the famous Slovenian philosopher says, ‘Mindfulness is the new refuge of capitalism right now.’ Mindfulness is the 3rd generation psychotherapies we use in psychotherapy, it is called conscious awareness in Turkish. As self-knowledge, self-improvement. He calls it the new refuge of capitalism. They are trying to lull people to sleep with it. Our Anatolian lore is the emergence of mindfulness. This is what Rumi said. They took it from our ancient culture and systematized it. It is currently applied scientifically, referred to as positive psychology. In other words, if we can be positive parents to our child, that child can easily manage this time."
"We must combine idealism, activism, and realism"
Mentioning that appropriate formulas should be found according to the abilities of children, Tarhan expressed that "The greatest leadership is parents. It is necessary to combine idealism, activism and realism. You will make a roadmap and take realistic steps. Rumi says, 'Let one foot be on the ground and one foot in love and dreams.' When this is not the case, the child gives himself up to laziness. However, we call them two-pronged thinking. We try to think about degrees. If something cannot be completely obtained, it is not completely abandoned. For him, parenting is to find the most appropriate formula according to the child's abilities. It is to make the best meal with the means at hand. It is to be able to sew the best outfit according to the fabric at hand. For this type of parenting, it is necessary to think and invest. We need to educate him, train him, by finding suitable formulas for him, the time we spend on him will not be wasted. The greatest gift a parent can give to their child is the time they devote to him. They are the experiences and memories he has accumulated with him. If there are these, that child will be the child who will lighten up the face of the family."
"Needs are what drives people to action"
Explaining that to set a goal, the need must first be determined, Tarhan said that "What drives a person is their needs. When you feel the need for a subject, it makes you want to need it. When the desire is awakened, the person takes action. When they feel the need, everyone says, 'It's a good thing,' and they set goals according to that need. To set goals, one needs to be able to anticipate their needs. The child needs to set a purpose in life. To set goals, he needs to feel the need. In other words, if you want to make the horse drink water, you cannot make it drink by hitting it on the head, but when it is thirsty, it will drink on its own. To be able to teach abstract ideals that are needed at this time. In other words, to be able to leave a mark when life comes to an end, to be remembered well. If he can have such an ideal, he gets up early in the morning and works. There is no need to tell him to work. If we do not do this on our own, events and events make us do it. An earthquake happens, you have to apply the engineering rules that you have neglected."
"The right approach today is consultation"
Referring to the importance of the sense of accountability, Tarhan said that "The most important thing that protects a person is not their good intentions, but their accountability. A sense of accountability is very important in this respect. Within the legal system, states do this. We also recommend holding family sessions within the family. It is necessary to be talkable, to be accountable. This is not accountability. It is getting to know each other, understanding each other, making decisions and moving forward together. The truth of this age is consultation. It is mutual horizontal consultations and finding the truth together. Families who can do this are successful. The method of our age is the method of persuasion and persuasion. If we want our child to belong to the family and to be a child who can solve the problems of this age, it is necessary to teach them to solve the problems by consultation. It will go not by imposition, suppression or intimidation, but by consultation, persuasion and persuasion. The method of this time is not to frighten and intimidate, but to persuade, persuade and endear."
"Earn through effort, have morals, and live with honor"
Stating that values education should be taught through modules, Tarhan said that "Values education is about valuable content. For example, value education can be given in mathematics class. It can be given in physics. It can be given in biology. It is necessary to provide value-based education in the lessons. If we cannot provide value-based education, that child will be like an elective course. It comes from one ear and out the other. It will not help at all. Values education is given by experiencing. That is, it is taught by modules. If so, it will give results. Traffic signs help to make the right decisions. He has an aspect that allows him to go where he wants to go. Here are the traffic signs in our lives in our value judgments. Let's teach this slogan to the child, 'Earn with your labor, have value judgments, live with your dignity.' If you want to live with dignity, you will have value judgments. If you teach it like a religious program, you will cause polarization. However, in order for a young person to live with dignity, there must be value judgments. Such a person does not oppress anyone else, nor does he oppress himself. If we teach them what value judgments bring, that young person will not object to value judgments."
At the end of the event, Bağcılar District Governor Abdullah Uçgun presented a plaque and a gift to Prof. Nevzat Tarhan.
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan opened a class
After the interview, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan opened the classroom for students with special needs.
Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)